Vehicular Ventures and Vulnerable Voices

This episode explores the comedic chaos that often comes with the holiday season, as we reflect on our own memorable experiences. We engage in discussions about mental health, the importance of building routines, and our evolving resolutions. We talk about how we're using technology this year to improve our planning, all while navigating the complexities of communication within our relationship. 

• Reflecting on holiday memories and mishaps 
• Discussing the importance of mental health and stability 
• Setting resolutions focused on building routines 
• The role of technology, specifically AI tools, in planning 
• Navigating communication styles as parents

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
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Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Chapters

• 0:00 Oversharing With Overbees
• 7:59 Building a Strong Foundation for Growth
• 15:58 Nurturing Personal and Professional Growth
• 29:16 Navigating Family Dynamics and Traditions
• 42:37 Discussing Anxiety-Inducing News Headlines
• 50:58 Exploring Vocabulary

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.

Speaker 2 0:10

With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.

Speaker 1 0:14

We're back, baby, and we're better than ever. Um, what's everybody up to? How was everybody's Christmas? How was everybody's New Year's? How?

Speaker 2 0:23

was yours, I was gonna say you know, this is recorded and broadcast, right?

Speaker 1 0:26

this is not a discussion hey, maybe they want to leave us a. Sure, yeah, no, do that, like definitely do that, maybe they're like you know, I can just leave Empty space for them to talk back. Sure and go wow, cool stellar. That sounds oh or oh. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 0:42

I mean people do say they enjoy that. It's like conversational. So I guess that's steering all the way in on conversation.

Speaker 1 0:48

You smell like brake cleaner.

Speaker 2 0:50

Yeah, I did get an extra hit right before I came back in.

Speaker 1 0:52

Ah, bad.

Speaker 2 0:54

I'm working on the car and I've been using brake cleaner and apparently it smells really strong, turns out, when you're out there using it.

Speaker 1 1:05

So I really strong turns out when you're out there using it, apparently. So I was with one of my friends and she dropped me off back at home and we stopped in to say hey to matt and we were having a hard time even standing close to like. I made him open the garage because that's he was absolutely getting high off his own supply of brake.

Speaker 2 1:24

We were buzzing.

Speaker 1 1:25

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:26

No.

Speaker 1 1:26

Then he almost killed us.

Speaker 2 1:28

Okay.

Speaker 1 1:30

Oh, you want to minimize that. I mean, that's probably the closest that car snuck up.

Speaker 2 1:35

Again, when you say us we would have been T-boned directly in the driver's side, which less common to be T-boned that way.

Speaker 1 1:41

I think that you may have T-boned them too, and then we could have spun and hit some.

Speaker 2 1:44

I don't know, if we two-bone them, we'd be, we'd probably be fine.

Speaker 1 1:48

The problem was we were gonna jump out and like I also think that they could have hit, t-boned you and then spun us in front of those cars.

Speaker 2 1:54

That were coming the other. They were driving so slow. That's why I was gonna jump out. I don't think we would have been t-boned by those people I don't know Matt. They were creeping.

Speaker 1 2:05

That was really quite scary yeah, One of your worst ever when Matt gets really amped up. And is this an ADHD thing, you think?

Speaker 2 2:15

Maybe I don't know what is it, I don't know, I always just ask. Everything is.

Speaker 1 2:20

No, it's not, that's not true Sometimes, but when he gets really amped up on breaker, breaker or on break, what am I trying to say? Not breaker.

Speaker 2 2:30

Not break fluid, break cleaner.

Speaker 1 2:32

Break cleaner.

Speaker 2 2:33

They're both bad for you.

Speaker 1 2:35

And I'm calling it breaker, breaker, as if it's Breaker, breaker For the breaker box.

Speaker 2 2:40

Oh, you're talking. Okay, that's what you were thinking.

Speaker 1 2:42

It's not what I was thinking, but it is what I was saying.

Speaker 2 2:45

Fair enough Anyway irrelevant.

Speaker 1 2:49

You were like this when you were words. You're like this when your mom comes over too.

Speaker 2 2:54

Well, that's an anxiety thing.

Speaker 1 2:56

I know, but you also have like you get amped up and you have the same response, like it's still. Oh yeah, iped up and you have the same response, like it's still.

Speaker 2 3:04

Oh yeah, I speed up and then things get chaotic and yeah. And it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, cause my mom's like, yeah, crazy Matt. And then I'm like acting crazy cause I'm anxious and like trying to be like 10 steps ahead.

Speaker 1 3:17

I've never seen anything like it. That's why.

Speaker 2 3:19

I backed into the garage door. Did we tell that story?

Speaker 1 3:22

uh, I'm sure we did probably did um, it's, it's just the. The almost getting t-boned was a very similar where I was like, okay, do you need to take a second? And that was good, that got me.

Speaker 2 3:36

You know that got the heart rate going.

Speaker 1 3:37

Yeah, definitely sobered you up for sure, not that you weren't.

Speaker 2 3:41

I'm acting like you're acting like I was actually out there huffing brake cleaner.

Speaker 1 3:44

I was not but anyway, matt has decided that he does all of the work on our cars now I just, you know, I have skills, kind of you know you 100, do I trust it? Yeah, I'm not stressed about it, it just it's kind of I've taken.

Speaker 2 4:03

I've just taken a general philosophy of like if something's broken, as long as I'm not going to like catastrophically break it by trying to fix it, the worst it can be is just still broken.

Speaker 1 4:14

Yeah. You know, and so that's I've just extended that to cars, you have a really really good success rate too. Yeah, I can think of almost nothing that you've had to have professionally fixed or done. Yeah, I don't know. I mean there's just things that I don't have.

Speaker 2 4:33

Like there's nothing off the top actually know how to do, but I haven't haven't tackled any of those projects yet no so yeah, so far, so good'm changing out. If anyone's curious, I was changing the spark plugs in a Subaru Outback and then there was a good amount of oil on the ignition coils. This is going to be really engaging for most people.

Speaker 1 4:56

Oh yeah, Tell people Really get into it A lot of mechanics, I think.

Speaker 2 4:59

Listen to this show, yeah, anyway. Yeah, Oil on the ignition coils, which is not where it should be, which means I have a leaking cam gasket, cam cover well, it's not even totally the can. Anyway there's a gasket I have to replace because it's leaking oil. I'm surprised it ran as well as it did with as much oil. This like was clearly leaking. But anyway, here we are, so I'm I'm in the middle of that job yeah nothing like starting a job and then needing to order more parts mid-job because the job you're in fact yeah, yeah, no, I don't actually have inventory parts like on hand.

Speaker 2 5:40

They'd be smart.

Speaker 1 5:41

But you could probably develop that, as you do some of these projects of knowing what would be good to have on hand.

Speaker 2 5:47

Yeah, that's true. I could definitely like if I actually like looked at, oh like this maintenance is coming up, I could buy all that and do that, but you could get organized first. Yeah, my move is more like oh no, that needs to be done, right now Our garages look like a bomb went off. Well, that was more the move, but sure Are you?

Speaker 1 6:07

talking about the, you consider your toolbox and what's on top of the workbench to be move-related. What about the paint sprayer?

Speaker 2 6:16

that's just Frozen in a block of ice out back.

Speaker 1 6:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2 6:20

Well, that was a forgotten project.

Speaker 1 6:22

Well, I think from my perception, the whole garage is a forgotten project. Well, I think from my perception, the whole garage is a forgotten project.

Speaker 2 6:28

Yeah, I mean a matter of perspective, forgotten still to you know, it's on the radar-ish.

Speaker 1 6:34

And here's the thing, I try really hard to not be critical of it, because the spaces that we share, I do feel like you are very intentional and work very hard to maintain and keep up and not let that happen in the spaces that we share.

Speaker 2 6:48

Yeah, cause I know how much like it drives you crazy.

Speaker 1 6:49

Oh, it drives me nuts, but I don't want to be overly critical of the spaces that are, more so yours. I would like the garage that we both utilize regularly to get there, and we've been making progress.

Speaker 2 7:01

And that one is mostly move stuff that's like tools. You're 100, right, so I?

Speaker 1 7:06

just wanted to clarify. I'm not meaning to be overly, you know, but it is crazy in there. It is so stressful yeah I went looking for a paintbrush matt was like I think there's a paintbrush out there and I walked out might be, you never know one of my books from my bookshelf was just on the floor in the garage I would talk to your son about that.

Speaker 2 7:29

Actually I was. That feels like a rory move to just like take a book, run it out to the garage and throw it on the floor and I was like what is happening in here.

Speaker 1 7:39

Anyway, I picked it up and put it back inside on the bookshelf.

Speaker 2 7:43

That makes sense. That's a good spot for it.

Speaker 1 7:44

Yeah, crazy, that's one of your resolutions. Are we going to talk resolutions today?

Speaker 2 7:54

Should we?

Speaker 1 7:54

Are we going to talk 2025,? New year, new you guys.

Building a Strong Foundation for Growth

Speaker 2 7:58

We could. We could definitely do that. I don't know if I've done a concrete resolution.

Speaker 1 8:03

I'm in the resolution forming stage. Yes.

Speaker 2 8:07

I've been using ChatGPT a lot.

Speaker 1 8:09

Yeah, I'd like you to get into that.

Speaker 2 8:11

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:11

I think that'll be interesting to people. But I wanted to note, before we moved into resolutions, things like that, that this year a lot of my resolutions are to chill the F out.

Speaker 2 8:24

Okay, yeah, I feel like that was kind of on the radar. I don't remember what your resolutions were last year.

Speaker 1 8:29

Well, I think it was on the radar last year, but I think a lot of what I was hoping to do last year was really get into a better spot with my mental health Overall. I should go back. I really should have gone back and listened to the episode when we talked about it, it.

Speaker 1 8:45

I remember two years ago our resolution episode better than I remember last years really well, because we actually set goals gotcha like, not that we didn't set goals last year, but I've been saying, as I've been talking to a lot of friends and we've been talking about, like this new year, energy and all those kinds of things uh, that I think, for the first time since becoming a mom, I'm finally feeling better.

Speaker 1 9:11

And I don't think it's related to necessarily parenthood itself. Um, I do think that that was like one more thing on the plate, but I don't think it was what I added to the plate. I think it was just adding to the plate period. Um, and I've just I've talked about it a lot. I feel like I've maybe in our personal life more than on the podcast, but I've just really I mean, it's been years now I've been really struggling. I'm not in a good place. I'm um, and I can't talk through with people that I'm going through something hard. Uh, situation like I don't have like this is really hard right now there's not, like a, a singular event right and it's not.

Speaker 1 9:56

it's not like how I feel about my body, it's not how like there's nothing concrete to it's all all very abstract and very just depression and mental health. And going into this year, two years ago, I feel like I was in the headspace of like okay, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. You just gotta like, maybe if you just set goals, like you usually set goals, and you just Power through it. Power through it, Like that's always worked for you before let's girl boss and go right to the sun. You know.

Speaker 2 10:31

Yeah, I mean, you also would have been what like eight months eight months pregnant, two years ago.

Speaker 1 10:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 10:38

And.

Speaker 1 10:39

I was going to say 18 months postpartum.

Speaker 2 10:41

Yeah.

Speaker 1 10:41

But yes, also pregnant, um, and just not a good not, and I knew I wasn't in a good place then, but I was trying to fix it by, like I was trying to like bare knuckle, just pull myself out of it yeah, I guess you weren't sharing that you were pregnant.

Speaker 2 10:58

Yeah, that was a.

Speaker 1 10:58

That was an interesting well, I wasn't and I wasn't sharing because I didn't't want input. I couldn't take it. I was in, I mean, I was fragile, yeah, just not, I was not well At all, and so then I feel like I really did that and then was really upset with myself that whole year for not making any of those goals.

Speaker 2 11:28

Yeah, well, it's like I remember. I guess what I remember from that time is like you were like, okay, I'm going to, I got to get to having this baby. Then I've got you know, whatever it was a month, two months planned of, like, okay, keep it low, keykey, share some stuff, like what I've been up to the last nine months with this kid, and then like really go for it. And that last bit, I think, was the, the tricky part yeah.

Speaker 1 11:59

And so then last year I was to a place that I was openly saying, oh yeah, no, I've been in the pits of hell in my mind Like I and I think it was almost. I felt like such a fun sucker. I didn't want to like make content because I just felt so Bad. Everything I made I'm like no, and that's just not. I don't think. I think transparency on the internet is really important. I like people being honest about the struggles they go through and I think that those are really important pieces. But I also didn't feel like I was going through something that added a lot of value to other people's lives. I think I was so in it, like dragging people along with me in it while I had none of it worked out wasn't going to be like I was trying to be honest. I wasn't trying to say I was good when I wasn't. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 12:56

yeah, no, I do. Like part of it is so. When you make content, you want to either have like something to say or some value to bring to the table and like all you really had was like oh, like I'm not well. But also your circumstances are very unique in terms of, like, what you do for a job and your family situation and all these things where it's like this isn't going to apply to a lot of people so it's not.

Speaker 2 13:20

there isn't going to be a community of people out there that are like, oh, oh, like I have this same feeling and so it's like you can share that. You have the feeling, but it's not like you're going to center around it. There wasn't a lot of, there's a lot of things that just weren't in your control and so it's not like. You could focus on that. And so it just people don't want to come to a place where it's like you're just talking about.

Speaker 1 13:43

Vague and weird Anyway.

Speaker 2 13:45

Not only are you vague, but it's just like you're not good.

Speaker 1 13:48

Right.

Speaker 2 13:49

And so it's one thing to be transparent and share like, hey, I'm not good, but if all your content is just like you not being well, that's not really a fun watch.

Speaker 1 13:57

Right and anyway. So last year it was this year. My only goal is next year, when we get to this episode, god forbid. I just want to be feeling better, you know. Yeah, like I want to be, I don't need to like quote unquote be better. I don't need to quote, unquote like have transformed something. I just want to not be so stuck in this and I don't. It happened, I feel.

Speaker 2 14:27

You're building momentum.

Speaker 1 14:29

Yeah, for the first time in a really long time, and so that was way longer than I intended it to be. Sorry everybody. That was like crazy long-winded.

Speaker 2 14:39

Messed this whole podcast.

Speaker 1 14:41

But what I was getting at is this year my goals are really to start fresh in a lot of ways and build a really solid foundation over setting big, impressive goals.

Speaker 2 15:00

Yeah, you're, you're, and what we've talked about is you're looking to establish like a really solid routine. It's not like, oh, I want to do these big, lofty things. You're like I want to build a routine around food. I want to build a routine around food. I want to build a routine around sleep. I want to build a routine around working out and like, outside of that, I don't know how much I, uh, I need to do so right, I don't once we get that down, then we can maybe tackle some other things but we're not good at the first part and so it's really hard to like.

Speaker 1 15:33

I feel like I have all kinds of big dreams Like I can tell you a hundred things I want to do, but I have to stop trying to do those things without having that other stuff built out.

Speaker 2 15:45

Yeah.

Speaker 1 15:46

And so I don't want to set the big goals. I really want to make the consistency the goal.

Nurturing Personal and Professional Growth

Speaker 2 15:53

Yeah, I think it's a good plan so anyway, what are your? Oh man matt's been using chat gpt because I finally yeah, so I um, yeah, you basically like forced me to sit down and like we used, forced is really not forced but like you just were like, hey, we're gonna do this yeah I was like okay, cool, yeah, fun great so force because I was not like doing it on my own totally yeah, you, you came to me with the idea and then you, much like many things in my life, much like yoga, much like the workout class I did for a long time, like you just have to like, make me go do it and then therapy like it therapy, same deal.

Speaker 2 16:31

Yeah, you're just like hey, here you are, go, we're gonna do this together, quote, unquote.

Speaker 1 16:37

And then we do a lot of things quote, unquote together yeah, we definitely do things.

Speaker 2 16:53

We do stuff. No, I have again. I have such vague plans and I haven't really sat down and like hashed it out. We just got childcare back, like today, and so while the holidays are normally a like, here you go like recharge time and family time. It's hard to do family time and like planning and goal setting and working for us personally, just because our kids live where we work.

Speaker 1 17:23

Yeah, and we've been in for those two Also I was saying this to somebody else the way the holidays fell this year.

Speaker 2 17:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 17:34

Made it really hard because, since Christmas and New Year's were dead center of the week, it was like there weren't really good days to. Our usual sitter was gone and there weren't good days to have a sitter that we didn't know or that we have established relationships with, because it was like Christmas Eve Christmas, and then it was the weekend and we didn't need a sitter over the weekend Cause we had things we wanted to take the kids to do and like or other people that were yeah.

Speaker 1 18:05

And so we were like you know what? We'll just do a couple of weeks of family time, and that was great. And then, uh, we really did I, I really enjoyed our time, but, yeah, we weren't.

Speaker 2 18:16

So I've been looking. Yeah, just now that we have childcare back, I'm looking to sit down this week and really plan out these goals. But it's nice just to have something to be like hey, I need to start working out. Can you put together a plan for me? I think for the last two years probably, I've said that I want to do content and like I you know I there's a month here and there that I have.

Speaker 1 18:39

I had my uh yearly meeting today with our team, which Matt usually sits in on our yearly meeting. But, um, I was not at home. I went to a coffee shop for it and they said to me uh, about that, they were like man. When Matt was like he was really killing it.

Speaker 2 18:56

There was five weeks where Matt like really went for it. And then there was four months that he took off again.

Speaker 1 19:01

Right, if you know once a week is what you can commit to, instead of trying to do that three times a week, to do it once a week and do it for a year, instead of four times a week for five weeks and then disappear for three months. Yeah, because consistency is the key and I really do feel like you're the more entertaining of. If you like entertainment twice a year for a month, come to me. Well, I think there are parts of you that are just better suited to being a creator.

Speaker 1 19:38

Interesting I really do think that. I think that my interest really lies more in the business side of it I enjoy the connection.

Speaker 2 19:50

part of it, but at the root of creating, is entertaining okay and I I feel like you love entertaining born entertainer, for sure I I don't necessarily think that's something you would say about yourself no, no, I don't feel like I'm in an entertaining uh phase of my life, but yes I, but I think that that's a core of who you are, though.

Speaker 1 20:15

Yeah, yeah, that's probably like I see it when I look at our kids and like just how much I think about your mom always telling the story of they moved to Missouri and you were. In what grade or what was? When was the circus?

Speaker 2 20:32

That was kindergarten. Oh, ok, so you had not moved. Ok, so they I not moved. Okay.

Speaker 1 20:35

So they?

Speaker 2 20:35

I just knew that it was like I mean, it was kindergarten, Right right, so like might as well be a move. You're just starting school. It was a new school.

Speaker 1 20:41

So Matt started school and they were doing a school play or circus that was.

Speaker 2 20:47

Sure, I guess it is. It probably was a play.

Speaker 1 20:56

It's a play, but it's like about the circus, and matt came home like week three of kindergarten, uh, and had all these lines he had to memorize because you were the I'd signed up to be the ringleader of the circus, which just means I talk through the whole circus like I introduce everybody that does their little bits as a five-year-old yeah, well, I mean, a five-year-old was gonna do it one way or the other.

Speaker 1 21:16

But right yeah but, and she said, you like, nailed it too yeah, yeah, even then I needed pressure to succeed but I think that speaks to like finding a lot of joy and contentment in that entertaining and like being able to bring that to people.

Speaker 2 21:34

Sure, sure, sure sure.

Speaker 1 21:36

And yeah.

Speaker 2 21:37

And then I honed that skill over the years as a defense mechanism.

Speaker 1 21:47

And then eventually. But I love that. I think that's really cool and I think that that's why you find a lot of success in creating content, and I also think that when you're doing it, it's why you find a lot of success in creating content, and I also think that when you're doing it, it's why you find a lot of joy in it.

Speaker 2 21:56

Yeah, a big part of it is just I. Uh, I think I've struggled the last several years with just personal identity and like really trying to understand where I fit in our life and where I fit like work wise, since I'm not currently an engineer and all that stuff, and so it's been really good for me to develop and learn. But it hasn't been the easiest process. It's not been intuitive at all.

Speaker 1 22:21

Well, you're going through the motherhood crisis.

Speaker 2 22:23

Yeah, for sure, yeah, no, I am like a stay at home mom.

Speaker 1 22:27

It's not just that. No, but it's typically but I think any mom listening, especially moms that are stay-at-home moms, but I think it applies also to working moms and work-from-home moms and any mother. So much of our identity by those surrounding us are in motherhood and I think you had defined yourself so heavily by work, not thoughtfully, Like I don't think you were like. I'm an engineer, that's who I am.

Speaker 2 23:00

Let's be honest, culturally, I think men are typically defined by their, their work. That's just the default, that is kind of the expectation, and so, since I don't have a good default and I can't not, can't, haven't, successfully, consistently done content, I really haven't had that side of things. So, like if I go to a party and someone's like what do you do, it's like, well, all right, here's I'm a stay at home parent, primarily. Like I have dabbled in this and dabbled in that and I support your business and we do a podcast, but like outside of that, I don't have a very structured role and it's something I mean, just who I am. The the structure part's critical for me, and so you don't want to parent me, you don't want to be my boss, and so structure something I'm having to develop myself, and so that's where chat gpt has been. Helpful, though is like chat gpt, whether it's right or wrong, it'll just like fire some stuff out there sometimes it'll be confidently bad information, confidently bad structure.

Speaker 2 24:04

But you're like, you know what it's a structure that I can tell it is bad and then I can try.

Speaker 1 24:09

It gives you a starting point. Yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 24:11

It's doing a big part for me, just like as someone who's it gives you a starting point. Yeah, it's doing a big part for me, just like as someone who's neurodivergent, to give me something to look at and critique rather than be like generate this thing all on your own. It generates something and then I can be like oh, that's not at all what I wanted, but now I can.

Speaker 1 24:27

But that helps you identify what you want, if you can tell it.

Speaker 2 24:30

Yeah, I always said that if there was a job that was just critiquing plans, I could be one of the best project manager. Yeah, but like you also have to make stuff happen too, yeah that's true.

Speaker 2 24:40

And it's usually your plan. Yeah, like, at least it was for me. I was a design, like I was doing design and install, so it was like okay, good, like I could had to. You know you critique your own plan, but if someone just called me in that I guess I'd be more like a business consultant or like a project consultant yeah, which is also a job I did for a period of time, but then they also still expect you to solve the problems. If I could just identify problems and be like that's what you need to figure out.

Speaker 1 25:07

I think there are a lot of people that would be good at that job, matt yeah, no, no, exactly, but I'm just saying that's. That's where my skillset really lies literally the political environment in the united. Well, probably a lot of places so you're saying politics, but that's my move no no because those aren't people, those aren't the politicians, those are all of the people like being got it, got it, oh yeah, just you know what? I mean everybody's like.

Speaker 2 25:30

Well, this is a problem and we're all like, yeah, don't do that, that's bad. Here's why it's bad yeah.

Speaker 1 25:36

Like well, but what do we do? Do we do you know?

Speaker 2 25:38

Got it, got it Got it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 25:41

It's a lot of things.

Speaker 2 25:58

It's not just that, but that's something really share, like what I was going for. But it's again it ties into your stuff where routine and structure is going to be really important. And so setting up a routine where I work out regularly and can keep working out and um, where I have a schedule for for work and I actually sit down and define roles, and I think a big thing that we want to do is sit down together and like and we started doing that and it's really helpful. Honestly, for us it's kind of an intermediary where we can just like throw our ideas Like here's all the things that need to be done in the house. Can you put that into a grid? And then we can break that out into who does what and then how often it needs to be done, and it just does a lot of the like the legwork for that without having to really structure it well, on your own.

Speaker 1 26:38

I'm not a chat gpt expert by any means. No, you've used it like five times. Um, well, I was gonna say that's something that we really struggle with in our relationship, I feel like, is communicating around things like that, because there are a lot of tone issues. There's a lot of um. I feel like you grew up in a house that you had to identify a lot of silent communications.

Speaker 1 27:02

Yeah, yeah, non-verbal communication was our primary form of communication and it's not that that didn't happen, like I'm familiar with the concept, but you read into things. But you read into things.

Speaker 2 27:16

It's more important the tone of what's said than what's said.

Speaker 1 27:19

A hundred percent.

Speaker 2 27:21

By far.

Speaker 1 27:25

And I often don't even.

Speaker 2 27:26

You don't have any idea what tone comes out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 27:29

No, it's mind boggling to me, but I also don't feel like I fight. You'll be like you said it with this and I'm like okay.

Speaker 2 27:38

Yeah, which is also infuriating, because it's like, well, clearly she didn't have any intent, she has no idea what just came out of her mouth.

Speaker 1 27:43

I'm like tell me more, and Matt's like you're the one that said it Nothing takes the wind out of your sails had no flipping clue, got it cool, um, but that's been really interesting to me because I think I came from a house where tone's relevant, like I do think. I don't think that I don't know tone at all I think that's dramatic, but it is not nearly as relevant as what you're saying and how you word it and things like that, which I think is actually less helpful well, yeah, well, I think I think issues in your house were addressed directly.

Speaker 2 28:25

Maybe not correctly, but directly yeah there was a direct confrontation with like there was definitely confrontation. I just don't know that it was always about it might not have always been about what the actual problem is, if that makes sense but there was a direct like hey, this something's wrong, whereas for me I had to like vibe that out yeah, that makes sense uh, you know, that just sets you up to like think everything's wrong yeah, it's really interesting, like if I uh talk to me yeah, no, it really is wild.

Speaker 2 28:59

You know, growing up in my house, if we talked to each other there was probably an issue right.

Navigating Family Dynamics and Traditions

Speaker 1 29:03

Otherwise we just existed silently around each other like I'll just be excited to see matt and I'll walk in. He's like what? Oh, he's already on the, and that's been we. I mean, we've come a long way from that I don't think that's where we are now, but it's been really interesting. But all that to say, that's what's made ChatGPT. We sound like we're doing a freaking ad.

Speaker 2 29:22

It really does.

Speaker 1 29:23

We're not, but that was not something I was expecting out of us using it together. Yeah, what that really worked well is it helped you understand what the hell I'm saying?

Speaker 2 29:37

Yeah, yeah, since I think more like a computer. Anyway, it's nice to have a computer like break down what Joe's saying and a concrete you would think that I am the most difficult person.

Speaker 1 29:48

No, no, no yeah.

Speaker 2 29:49

You're like an over communicator. That's really not bad at communicating, just like our styles don't mesh the best.

Speaker 1 29:55

No.

Speaker 2 29:55

So really hard for a computer to have tone, though. So yeah that's nice for me that I don't have to like worry about judgment from chat. Gpt Like this is a dumb AI that just like says what goes in Now.

Speaker 1 30:13

I feel guilty using it because every time Matt's like oh, there goes that portion of the rain forest.

Speaker 2 30:19

Yeah, there is a real energy concern that comes with using it, so I don't try to use it a lot, but it has been helpful in planning and like clearly it's not going anywhere. We're strapping it into like every single product we make now. Just you know yeah so it's fine. It's totally fine. You don't need to go there. That's not at all a fun.

Speaker 1 30:42

I watched a really funny tiktok about that this week. This guy was talking about how he said it's really interesting living in this generation of like, and maybe it's always been like this. But he's talking about being at the grocery store and uh, the guy asked him do you want plastic or paper? And he's like, oh, paper, um, you know, I feel like I need to pick paper because of and he made some comment about the environment and the guy responded and was like, well, actually, the plastic and these are is like, these bags are recyclable because they're made out of XYZ, and the papers, uh, they can actually do less with because of the glue and um, and then so then he responded back to the guy and he was like, well, I guess it doesn't really matter because of the multi-billion dollar corporate. And his girlfriend like cut him off and was like, so how's your day been? Like, yeah, like, it's just such a time of like how do you?

Speaker 2 31:38

yeah, you're trying to make all the right, like recycling decisions, but like if every single person right in the world.

Speaker 1 31:43

Correctly recycled, it'd be like five percent of the problem but it also like does that mean, it's not important, like it's just yeah, yeah, exactly, I'm like, you shouldn't be actively littering, I'm caught in like a hamster wheel of.

Speaker 2 31:56

Yeah, no, it's cool, it's fun to have like impossible situations Just constantly.

Speaker 1 31:59

That you just live through, yeah.

Speaker 2 32:00

Yeah, that's kind of a lifestyle. I'm sure there's always been a degree of stuff, this here lifestyle.

Speaker 1 32:06

I made Matt watch a hundred tiny desks this week.

Speaker 2 32:09

You did. You did sit down and you're like, hey, do you have like an hour to go through? Like six different At like one in the morning? Yeah, no, like we sat down starting, I think, at 1130 or midnight. I was like you like Tiny Desk, I was like I've seen like one. But yeah, yeah, sure it's good.

Speaker 1 32:31

But I was not in the headspace or. Well, I've been talking about for weeks that you needed to watch the Dochi.

Speaker 2 32:37

Yep, so we did Dochi.

Speaker 1 32:39

We only did part of it. I want you to watch the whole thing, okay, but okay, or you don't have to.

Speaker 2 32:44

No, it's okay. It's okay, my gosh Like now.

Speaker 1 32:47

I'm never going to ask again.

Speaker 2 32:49

Perfect, perfect.

Speaker 1 32:51

Nailed it.

Speaker 2 32:51

Nailed it. Yeah Well, we did Dochi. We, you know, we looked, we did the T-Pain one Very popular. You had your critique of Sabrina Carpenter's.

Speaker 1 33:06

You didn't like the twang. No, that's actually. I don't feel like representing what I said. Well, I didn't like it for the environment.

Speaker 2 33:12

Okay.

Speaker 1 33:14

Like not? You just expected more, I think I mean she can sing, there's no doubt, sure, yeah, yeah, that was never talented I was being very critical yeah, yeah, you have.

Speaker 2 33:24

You have things you like in a tiny desk, for sure yeah hysterical. Just an odd thing to have like such concrete thoughts on. I feel like especially when I'm somebody that truly that's not you no but like this niche little performance space, that is like informal, it's like an informal performance, acoustic performance by these people, you're like well, I don't really like what they brought to the table here.

Speaker 1 33:52

Who are obviously exceptionally talented and like the top of their everything.

Speaker 2 34:01

Undeniably talented people going up to do informal sets and you're like man. I really wish they would have put more artistry into something, Wish they would have thought their costumes out're, you know costumes out better.

Speaker 1 34:14

Am I insufferable? I just noticed a christmas tree that didn't get put away yeah, we didn't even talk christmas.

Speaker 2 34:22

We didn't even talk new year's. There wasn't much to talk about new year's yeah, I over served myself so yeah, put myself out of commission by 1130. Didn't make it to New Year's.

Speaker 1 34:35

I mean, you did, you just were asleep.

Speaker 2 34:38

Yeah, not awake.

Speaker 1 34:39

Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 2 34:40

Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:42

I don't have anything interesting to say about the holidays. Yeah, I feel bad about that.

Speaker 2 34:46

We survived them.

Speaker 1 34:48

I'm in a weird season when it comes to Christmas. I went to lunch with friends after Christmas and just really gotten my feels because they were talking about how Christmas is with their family and all these different things that their grandparents did, their parents did, their siblings did to create all this magic like for their kids and to do I don't know, just like all these things. And it's just not. Matt and I's family environment is just so different from that and I think that was hard for me. I don't feel negatively about our like. We didn't have a bad Christmas at all.

Speaker 1 35:29

I don't have anything.

Speaker 2 35:30

Just limitations.

Speaker 1 35:32

Yeah, I don't feel any kind of way Like we had a nice time, family was here and everything. It's just. Our situation is just so different, for very understandable and acceptable reasons, and sometimes I still feel really sad about it because it's just not your ideal yeah, I guess yeah you just aspire to more. Well, I think a lot of times because everybody is really trying to. Understandably, it's out of everybody's control. It's not a thing where bringing it up to the family and having a constructive conversation or being critical would change the situation.

Speaker 2 36:34

None, yeah, um like there's nothing it would change the situation None.

Speaker 1 36:41

Yeah, sorry, correct, um, and so because of that, I feel like we're surrounded by a lot of people who want to just not acknowledge the heaviness of that, because it is what it is and it's not just one year. That's how it is. That is how our lives are. I don't know, maybe I'm being too abstract, so this is hard to understand. Probably I really struggle with that. I do. The holidays are um hard for me and I know they are for a lot of people like I don't. I don't think that's a really abnormal take, but I definitely have a lot of friends who I'm really happy for, who have really really good family. That's really healthy and everybody lives close and have a lot of those privileges that I'm really happy for them and I love hearing about their holidays and those special things that they're doing. But I do sometimes kind of envy them and feel sad that I don't also have those things.

Speaker 2 37:53

The traditions and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 37:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 37:55

Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 37:57

While not feeling any kind of way toward.

Speaker 2 38:00

The individuals, yeah, like I love my family. Yeah.

Speaker 1 38:05

It's not anybody's fault, you know.

Speaker 2 38:09

Yeah, I think it's possible to be disappointed in the situation and not disappointed in the people.

Speaker 1 38:14

I just always worry. You know voicing that because you know I think about it. I've been watching a lot of. I've been getting a lot of things sent to my For you page about moms with only one child lately.

Speaker 2 38:26

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 38:27

And I don't know if there's been a number of children debate or if my for you pages just registered that I'm my mom's only or I have no idea, I don't know, like I have no clue, because it's not about being an only child, it's about having an only child which I don't yeah but it's been a lot of moms who are feeling shamed by people saying that having just one child is selfish and this and that.

Speaker 1 38:55

And then they're saying, well, it wasn't up to me if I only had one, like I wanted more than one but I could only have one. And you know you're being, and sometimes people just wanted one and that's fine too, I think sometimes people figure out like, oh, this is a lot.

Speaker 1 39:11

And as I was watching those moms, I was feeling some type of way because I realized that I'm an only child that did not enjoy being an only child. Um, um. I think my parents did a great job getting me out into social um environments. I always was surrounded by great friends. I I don't feel negatively about the experience my parents gave me per se as an only child. Um, my mom couldn't have more kids, like it wasn't her choice. She wanted more kids, um, and I know guys. I have half sisters. I know I talk about them, but we never lived in the same state. Disclaimer that's the um for all intents and purposes. Growing up, I was an only child in the house.

Speaker 2 40:05

You were the younger only child.

Speaker 1 40:07

Yeah, and I was listening to these moms and I was like man, it's so interesting how we make it about ourselves Because as I'm listening, I'm like, oh man, I'm an only child that really didn't like it and even though it is not my mom's fault, my dad's fault, it's not I have really struggled until this last year, expressing that I actually really hated that experience and felt some kind of way about it, because I was so concerned about protecting my mom's feelings, my dad's feelings. Concerned about protecting my mom's feelings, my dad's feelings, because I know it wasn't in their control. But I also know that as a parent, you have to feel I would feel guilty, even though I I don't think they should does that yeah, yeah so I've been really struggling watching that's just very much of like yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 41:09

It's. Sometimes it's difficult to process through emotions and like should I have the like? It's? It's not necessarily like should I have this emotion. It's like you do have this emotion, Right, and whether or not it's quote, unquote, justified, like, that's still the experience.

Speaker 1 41:23

Well, and I have to unpack that like all the time so it's really hard when you look at the people around you and for me, like I look at my parents, my mom did a fantastic job. Like she, every single thing that I would say to a mom of an extroverted only who, like you, know how I was like there's nothing I would change, Like I'm like yep, yep, yep, but it, it, I. That doesn't.

Speaker 2 41:58

It was still a challenge.

Speaker 1 41:59

Some people, though, that are only like I. One of my very closest friends from college and I talk about her a lot when it comes to this topic. Um is an only loves it is an only Loves it, and her mom and her have a very similar, like close relationship, as me and my mom A lot of similar things. We're involved in a lot of similar activities. You know, I don't know, it's just really interesting, yeah, anyway, holding space for all the feelings Joe's having all the time, this is just our feelings pod.

Discussing Anxiety-Inducing News Headlines

Speaker 2 42:35

This is the beginning of the year. Feelings pod. Yeah, we'll try and come with some more concrete topics next week, but just vibes, new Year's vibes. Yeah, all the ways, we felt sad for the last month. I don't feel sad.

Speaker 1 42:48

That's the thing I really don't. No, I just like, yeah, I don't know feeling, feelings I keep saying I'm like, I'm having big feelings a lot, yeah, and part of that's probably being pregnant too for sure it's not helping hormonally, like just riding a roller coaster yeah, and so I'm sure that doesn't help, and I'm I'm not a shallow thinker no, just yeah, too deep to really get into yeah do we have reads of the week surely we got some reads reads of the drags your dad.

Speaker 1 43:23

He reads the news, he sends us news article titles.

Speaker 2 43:26

Well, he sends us full articles, but then we read the titles and see how much anxiety they give us.

Speaker 1 43:30

He sent us some good ones the last couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 43:32

Oh yeah, there's some.

Speaker 1 43:34

I've really enjoyed reading some of the ones that he sent in the last couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 43:38

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 43:39

What were you, what did you mean?

Speaker 2 43:41

Oh, I mean, I feel like he sent us some real doozies in terms of like scary, oh, maybe. First article title Four financial Like scary, oh maybe. First article title four financial habits to break after age 50.

Speaker 1 43:55

if you want to retire on time. I don't think I clicked on that one.

Speaker 2 43:58

I definitely didn't. He did say, yes, it's that time of year, so I'm working on this stuff. So, unfortunately, it's what I'm reading more of right now.

Speaker 1 44:06

Zero out of five, like to me. I read that headline and I was like I'm not even clicking on that.

Speaker 2 44:10

I'm 31 yeah, it is weird that it was like 50.

Speaker 1 44:14

Like, I'm not gonna pocket any information that is gonna be and I'm sure, like there's probably good information. I don't even have to hear from dad. I am confident that that article probably names some things that he sees all of us already doing, and it's like a Good job Like yeah, look at how ahead of you are. Like I'm quite confident that that's probably, but I didn't even click on it. It doesn't give me any anxiety because I am not 50 yet.

Speaker 2 44:44

It gave me like a four out of five. Oh really.

Speaker 1 44:47

Why? That's why I didn't click on it. Interesting what?

Speaker 2 44:50

was See.

Speaker 1 44:51

I feel like the higher my anxiety, the more likely I am to click on it.

Speaker 2 44:54

Oh, no, no, no, no. I run away from my fears.

Speaker 1 44:57

Okay.

Speaker 2 44:58

I'm a runner.

Speaker 1 44:59

So when I'm a zero out of five, I'm like eh.

Speaker 2 45:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 45:02

Like I want it to clickbait me, like I want it to be like oh shoot, I probably need to know that.

Speaker 2 45:05

I like. Shut the text app immediately.

Speaker 1 45:07

Like I run away.

Speaker 2 45:08

Yeah, in the fight or flight mode, I'm all flight.

Speaker 1 45:12

That's so funny Okay.

Speaker 2 45:15

In the same vein, it's time to reset your finances for 2025's unknowns, knowns and unknowns.

Speaker 1 45:23

I clicked on that one.

Speaker 2 45:24

Didn't click on that one. Another four out of five for me Two out of five.

Speaker 1 45:32

That's not crazy for me Enough that. I clicked on it because I was like maybe it has something good in there.

Speaker 2 45:36

Fair enough.

Speaker 1 45:38

Yeah, okay, last one, give me one more.

Speaker 2 45:42

Here we go. I'm a dementia expert. Here's the exact age you should stop drinking.

Speaker 1 45:47

Wait, I don't think I saw that one at all, you didn't see that bad boy. These are all very low anxiety for me.

Speaker 2 45:54

Yeah, that one didn't give me any anxiety.

Speaker 1 45:56

What was the answer?

Speaker 2 45:58

I don't know.

Speaker 1 45:59

Never, not, never.

Speaker 2 46:00

Imagine the article is just like two words Right now, like this age, strongly suggest that if you are 65 years or older, you completely and permanently eliminate alcohol from your diet. I think that's probably good for you at any age yeah, I was gonna say like it's not good for you.

Speaker 1 46:15

It is quite literally like a poison that your body has to like process and, you know, get rid of we are not, as you just said, that you over served yourself. Yeah, and we talked about ha, about Halloween, not that long ago.

Speaker 2 46:29

Yeah, I'm purely a binge drinker, but I only do it like.

Speaker 1 46:33

Three times a year. Five times a year you do not do that to that extent. No, but this was twice this year which is not great, which was very weird.

Speaker 2 46:42

Yeah, usually I only observe Halloween or New Year's.

Speaker 1 46:46

Yeah.

Speaker 2 46:47

You know way too drunk.

Speaker 1 46:50

Well, and it's usually for you, it's related to not prep.

Speaker 2 46:56

It's really not Not eating enough food or drinking enough water prior.

Speaker 1 47:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:02

Most of the time, which I also didn't do. I know, but you're 32.

Speaker 2 47:05

Yeah, I was better at it, like the last two years, I feel like.

Speaker 1 47:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:09

This year really got away from me.

Speaker 1 47:11

What is that? Well?

Speaker 2 47:12

I think I'm drinking less than ever.

Speaker 1 47:14

For sure Like.

Speaker 2 47:16

I'm out of practice. I'm not drinking enough, really. No, I think is the perspective that I should be having. I got to step my game up. We really don't drink.

Speaker 1 47:30

Yeah. Tolerance is an all-time low. Yeah, when we get you around other people who do have a casual beverage like more more regularly yeah, and you're always just blown away, how you just don't got it anymore you don't compete yeah which, why it's a competition, I don't know I think that's a stupid competition.

Speaker 2 47:51

It's not even a competition. I just like to be, you know, I like to do it all the way well you did, and then I do it too far all the way, yeah but I mean, a big problem for me is that when I drink, I like to drink more I find it really incredible that you're not more embarrassed um. I'm embarrassed, but I just talk about embarrassing things on the podcast, that's no, no, no, that's not what I mean.

Speaker 1 48:14

More embarrassed of your behavior in front of, like what I witness, what I had to witness Halloween and New Year's like what I will tell you is, by the time I get there, I'm not really thinking about anything. No but the next day.

Speaker 2 48:28

I do feel very bad the next day.

Speaker 1 48:29

Oh, you do, I feel bad right now. Oh, okay, really.

Speaker 2 48:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1 48:33

Interesting. Yeah, You've not really. You don't like.

Speaker 2 48:36

I tried to breeze right past it.

Speaker 1 48:38

I tried not to address it at all.

Speaker 2 48:40

It's not a good method. That's so interesting. I was very embarrassed and so I just tried to not talk about it.

Speaker 1 48:45

Okay, yeah, I don't want you to be embarrassed.

Speaker 2 48:49

Like that's not what I'm saying either. Well, I don't want to be embarrassed, but I embarrass myself.

Speaker 1 48:52

I love you no matter what. Like I'm not feeling it. I'm leaning on that heavily actually yeah, no, I know, trust me, you really yeah, I saw, and I Sorry.

Speaker 2 49:08

That's okay, you can lean in on it, it's good yeah.

Speaker 1 49:10

Sometimes I test the limits of it. You know, Not often.

Speaker 2 49:11

No, I try not to. It's just like it's a dangerous game.

Speaker 1 49:14

Those only being two months apart, like that felt Normally it's like you, would have thought it was educational 18 months to two years.

Speaker 2 49:22

Yes, yeah, usually it's like it's been long enough that it's excusable to like oh he forgot.

Speaker 1 49:26

Probably since his 20s. Not really, because I think the last time that I would compare to Halloween was no, you would have been in your 20s. It was when you were 29.

Speaker 2 49:39

That was the last time I would have compared to.

Speaker 1 49:42

And then I ran it back two months later. Yeah, anyway, really interesting. But the thing about Halloween this year was you did not drink very much, Anyway, guys we're getting into details that really are irrelevant. Do we have a word of the week.

Speaker 2 49:54

Word of the week.

Speaker 1 49:55

Word of the week. I mean word of the year really.

Speaker 2 49:59

Word of the week.

Speaker 1 50:01

Let's get one Out of the Box was the best kid's show of our time.

Speaker 2 50:07

I mean, at least it has the best jingle, and so you know you run that one there. Are you familiar with the word beleaguer? If something is beleaguering, no, it's to cause constant trouble. Like you're beleaguered by an issue.

Speaker 1 50:29

Matt is beleaguered by lots of issues.

Speaker 2 50:31

Yeah, that's true. I really live a lifestyle of being beleaguered.

Speaker 1 50:35

No, I'm not familiar with that one.

Speaker 2 50:37

Anyway, b-e-l-e-a-g-u-e-r Beleaguer.

Speaker 1 50:44

I don't like the U-E-R at the end. That makes me very uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 50:48

Well, it's like B-league-R.

Speaker 1 50:50

Yeah, I don't like it. Okay, fair enough.

Exploring Vocabulary

Speaker 2 50:55

I can't do anything about it, but Beleaguer, you know beleaguer.

Speaker 1 50:58

Beleaguer, that's how you pronounce it.

Speaker 2 51:00

It's kind of used as a synonym for besiege Okay, beleaguer, yeah.

Speaker 1 51:06

I'm not familiar with that one. I hate to say that I don't think that's going to be a word of the week that I'm using. Yeah, say it again.

Speaker 2 51:11

Beleaguer.

Speaker 1 51:12

Beleaguer.

Speaker 2 51:14

To be beleaguered by something.

Speaker 1 51:16

Beleaguered.

Speaker 2 51:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1 51:18

Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 2 51:23

I'll try, I yeah.

Speaker 1 51:24

I've been contexting that one a little bit probably too much.

Speaker 2 51:26

I'm sure you'll get it when you see it. Yeah, okay, fair enough, it'll make sense in a sentence well, our children just returned yeah, yeah so we're gonna cut things a little short this month.

Speaker 1 51:39

Hello to everybody. I know that there there are a couple thousand of you that tune in every month, um, so if you want to come over to the patreon and see us every week still, sure um, that is an option. It's what is it? Four dollars a month sounds right okay, and then you get an episode every wednesday and email us, send us voicemails. We'll get some of those, hopefully next week yeah, um, sorry to cut things a little short today, but all right.

Speaker 2 52:10

Well, it's good to be back yeah we'll try again next week bye.