Overthinking with the Overbys
Welcome to Overthinking with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overthink online.
New episodes available weekly!
Overthinking with the Overbys
Build It And They Will Come
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From the ashes of Oversharing comes Overthinking - and this week we talk about taking a pause on the launch to respect real news, a nine day studio build, and a better plan for goals and habits in our version of the new year.
• Why Overthinking fits better than Oversharing
• Postponement of the launch to due to the state of the world
• Drink of the day and lighter moments to reset
• Studio building and the drywall learning curve
• Hyperfocus vs steady systems in work and marriage
• Vlogmas lessons on editing, streaks and comments
• February as the new January
• How to restart habits without all‑or‑nothing thinking
• Empathy, boundaries and functioning as a community
• Parenting through loss of cell service
Please rate the podcast, review the podcast, leave us a voicemail, text us, email us, reach out any way you feel because we love, love, love this community and talking with you all. Links and everything are below!
We'll be back to chat every Wednesday, hope to see you here.
If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!
https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod
If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Do you ever think about how Dochson is spelled absolutely bananas?
SPEAKER_00:I'm assuming it's just like German or something, but right.
SPEAKER_01:But then people are like a dash hound. Oh have you heard people say dash hound?
SPEAKER_00:I have heard that. Yeah. But I just figured those are people that don't have that dog in them. You're so dumb. That's the level of humor you can expect out of this podcast. Okay. Anyway, welcome. Or if you've been here before, welcome back. Not this before, I guess. This is episode one. We've never done another podcast. We never will do another podcast.
SPEAKER_02:But this is what's happening.
SPEAKER_00:It's called an intro. Have you ever heard of it? Going according to rehearsal so far.
SPEAKER_01:We might have to start rehearsing if this is how it's gonna go. Because holy moly, we can't complete a sentence in these mics. Welcome back.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Same podcast flavor, new podcast taste. No.
SPEAKER_01:Excuse you. Say that one more time for me. New podcast flavor, same podcast taste.
SPEAKER_00:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:That's Matt's best pitch to really pull you in to listen. So just you know what? His diet is perfect. I love it. Let's start there. Did that pull you in? Did we get you up? If you stop listening now, it's gonna get blamed on Matt. So you have to, you have to stay locked in. By golly. Uh we're back and we're maybe worse than ever. I was gonna say better, but hey, the studio setup is more professional than it has ever been.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. This is the best we've ever looked.
SPEAKER_01:Well on the podcast.
SPEAKER_00:This is the best the podcast has ever looked.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think it's the I hope it's not the best I've ever looked.
SPEAKER_00:No, it's not the best we've ever looked. It's the best the podcast has ever looked.
SPEAKER_01:Correct. Matt did some ADHD research. I like to call it ADHD research because it's different than when a neurotypical person researches, because it is so intense and all-consuming. I mean, Matt was up at all hours of the night Googling things, redditing things, just reading every piece of information he could find on the internet to learn about lights. He was he was scoping eBay.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I I'm honestly surprised we've even made it here for how lost Matt was to the hyperfixation that was the technical component of this setup. But we're here, we have a new studio, and we have a new title. We uh were oversharing for almost four years, and we decided when we were going to rebrand, relaunch, that we wanted to do a new name because oversharing just didn't feel like it fit what we were doing anymore. And I don't really know, looking back on it, if it ever fit, because I don't know that I've ever considered us oversharers. I think that oversharing is kind of a funny component of being a content creator and choosing to share online. I think it's easy to call people who choose to share overshares. Yeah. And we were definitely playing up that part. But I think without a doubt, both of us can claim overthinking.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Yeah, that's definitely we've got that under control. I think we're actually very conscious of what we share. And uh it was more of just a play on being people who create content. Yeah. So here we are.
SPEAKER_01:This is more fitting. This is us. Very excited. Excited to be here. We were supposed to launch January 14th, uh, and we decided to push back a couple weeks just because there have been so many massive current events that I think Matt and I both feel really strongly about.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01:And uh in light of the murder of Renee Good and Alex Predi and Keith Porter, and uh so many in uh our country that have been put in really horrific situations by ICE recently and not recently. We just felt like our podcast didn't need to be one more thing taking up space um online, especially the marketing efforts and plans that we had had through the month of January. So we kind of scrapped that. We revisited the plan. Um, and here we are. And it's definitely not the rollout that we had planned, but I think it is the rollout that Matt and I both feel best about.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, like you said, we we wanted to launch in the middle of January with everything happening in Minnesota, especially and uh throughout the country. It was just like, okay, we don't necessarily need to take up space with what we're sharing. Like, as much as we're excited about this, this is a podcast talking about stuff, just talking. It's conversations. It's not political. We will talk what we feel.
SPEAKER_01:It's a podcast about stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Clip that, promote it. Podcast about stuff. But it it is just conversations, and we really love having those conversations. We won't shy away from our feelings, especially on uh the situations like these that have been going on. But we didn't need to be pushing and promoting in a time when there's a lot of important information to be shared. And every week they went by, it seemed like something else terrible happened. And so fingers crossed, we can launch in a week where fewer atrocities are happening.
SPEAKER_01:But well, and I think even right now, I I think that 2026 is going to be a year that we held both.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think when we look back in the history of our lives, we're gonna look back and see this time as yes, there was joy, and yes, there were things to be enjoyed, but there were also things to be protested and talked about and important conversations to be had. And I'm trying to give myself a little more grace in holding both.
SPEAKER_00:It's been a trial by fire so far.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm not very good at it. It it feels very, I'm on or off. Anyway, I don't want to get lost trying to explain us there, but I did feel it was important to tell you all why we chose to postpone and just start with that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think the best way to transition for me is just to dive into the most unserious thing possible. What are you drinking today?
SPEAKER_00:What am I drinking? I've got a drink of the day. Drink, drink of the day. Sung to the tune of out of the box. I'm drinking a uh green ghost, uh sour green apple. Sour green apple ghost.
SPEAKER_01:I have an Alani.
SPEAKER_00:Ooh.
SPEAKER_01:I have an Alani sherbet swirl.
SPEAKER_00:That's like your signature flavor.
SPEAKER_01:It is. I really like it. It wasn't one of their permanent flavors at one point, and a friend uh purchased an entire flat of this and brought it to my house.
SPEAKER_00:I thought you just single-handedly consumed enough that they decided to cement the flavor and it is a permanent flavor now.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But I did put up a stink wanting it to be one.
SPEAKER_00:You led a revolt.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I don't think I led a revolt. I don't think enough people care about what I think for that. But I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:You might, again, you might have single-handedly bought enough Sherbert Swirls.
SPEAKER_01:That might be true.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe like the sales dynamics here are off the charts here.
SPEAKER_01:It's so bizarre. There's thousands of these being sold in northwest Arkansas.
SPEAKER_00:They're just buying them any anywhere they can.
SPEAKER_01:That was the weird part, is there were flats of it available at Costco in Springfield, Missouri, which is a couple hours from us. It was sold out everywhere in Northwest Arkansas. They couldn't keep an available view. Nowhere. It was killing me. All right, so we are surrounded by your masterpiece that was done in January. Give us a little bit of a little bit of.
SPEAKER_00:This is my Sistine Chapel. Um if the Sistine Chapel was built in nine days, which was pretty close. I'm pretty sure it's so.
SPEAKER_01:If the Sistine Chapel was made in nine days and lacked everything that makes it the Sistine Chapel.
SPEAKER_00:If it was built by just a guy and not artisans over the course of hundreds and hundreds of years. It's offensive to somebody. I'm not even part of the people who are really offended aren't still around. But um anyway. Anyway, yes, so I built this podcast studio as we'd planned to relaunch. Like we wanted a dedicated space because we used to film this in our living room half the time and without a lot of setup, and we have to break it down every week and put it back up, and it just was not a consistent environment. And this the goal here was to make a dedicated space that could live as the podcast. We could walk out, we could walk in and roll.
SPEAKER_01:So back in September, we started talking about what it would look like to kind of reinvent the podcast and really have a dedicated space where we can put the time and effort that we wanted to. And upon that discussion, Matt said, you know what? I can build us a studio. I could do it. Hubris. And I floated the idea of hiring somebody to come in and help kind of build out the room because that seemed like a lot to put onto Matt's plate moving into the holiday season and New Year's, and we have Halloween, and we're traveling for Thanksgiving, and we had plans to go visit friends in November. And I was like, I don't know when you're gonna get all of that done. And he said, No problem, babe. I got you. I am exceptional, and I am great at time management. And I quote, just kidding. He definitely said that in my life.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna stop you there. Nope.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but about, oh, I think it was about January 5th.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, the third, January 3rd. You're the first day or the second day. It was the third day of January.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:And the following nine or ten days. Uh okay.
SPEAKER_01:On January 3rd, I looked at Matt and I said, Hey, buddy, you either start on it today or the podcast is canceled.
SPEAKER_00:That that specific day might have been January 2nd, at which point I was like, I'm starting tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01:He said, I'm gonna push it one more day just to see if she'll quit.
SPEAKER_00:The third is is I was like, okay, this has to happen.
SPEAKER_01:And it's kind of funny because Matt has been telling all of our friends and family that he was going to build this out since September. And not to his face, but to me, every moment we got together with every family and friend, they had been asking me. They'd pull me aside and be like, How's the podcast studio coming? And I'm like, he hasn't started. And they're like, Oh, are you worried? What are you gonna do? And I'm like, I'm not gonna do anything. This is it's it's his bed. He made it, he's gonna sleep in it.
SPEAKER_00:That's his baby, yeah. Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And he did.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I it took nine days, pretty much nine days straight.
SPEAKER_01:Before I let you go on, I do want you to know that every single person I talked to, I said, he'll get it done. Yeah. And they're like, there's no way. I'm like, I was like, no, he'll get it done. I know he will.
SPEAKER_00:It's true.
SPEAKER_01:I just wanted you to know that I did have your map.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not gonna lie, I went over schedule. I thought I could get it done in seven, and it took a full nine to ten.
SPEAKER_01:Do you feel like 10 days was the appropriate length of time?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, definitely. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Ten days is basically if you don't do any other part of your life, you could maybe do this. It was not a good a good week and a half.
SPEAKER_01:No, which is maybe the crummiest part about all of it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that wasn't ideal. Wasn't ideal for literally anyone else.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think it was ideal for you. Well, I don't know. That is, I like I will say, I think that that's one of our strengths. I recognize that you like to participate in things in an all or nothing fashion.
SPEAKER_00:I like to think of it as immersion. I love to immerse myself in a project.
SPEAKER_01:I would agree with that. I think that's a beautiful way to word it. And I don't think that that's necessarily wrong. I think that it just needs to be communicated about and prepared for because the reason this worked so well this time is I was prepared that when you started, you were going to be in it. And so I prepped everything in our lives to run as smoothly as possible with the idea that I would be solo parenting for nine to ten days.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like I wasn't irritated. I was like, oh, well, it's nice that he was able to do bedtime tonight. Not there was a lot of like work all day.
SPEAKER_00:Kids get home from school, come up, do dinner, do bedtime, go back out and work until like two in the morning.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Rinse and repeat.
SPEAKER_01:And there was a point where Matt was down here at about 3 a.m. having a full-blown meltdown. And I walked down, and uh, you wanted me to feel bad for you so bad. So bad. You I mean, you really did. You were laying it on thick. And I will say that when you use this strategy, I don't I don't have a lot of sympathy.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Tried my best though.
SPEAKER_01:I did try to calm you down.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that was because I was mudding and taping, uh, which is when you finish drywall, cover it, and make all the seam, because it comes in sheets. You tape over the seams and to make it smooth, to make it one piece. Um, it's not, it's more of an art than a science, and I'm more of a science guy, you know? So I don't know. I you might be an art guy. I like art, but art takes skill, and skill takes time, I think. You did a really beautiful job. It turned out, but the first night was horrible. And I was having a mental breakdown, and I was like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I'll never be able to fix this. I've ruined four good days of work. Because right up until then, I was like, I was framing, I was hanging dry. Well, all these things I've done, because I grew up, uh, I helped my dad finish my basement in my family home when I was probably 10, 11, 12, 13.
SPEAKER_01:Anyway, so I somewhere in that five-year period.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. But I was 12 when I was doing a lot of the stuff. But anyway, I I grew up and I saw my dad do a lot of this stuff, so I kind of knew if not the details of how everything was done, kind of how achievable stuff was. And so I f I felt good about that. That stuff was going smoothly. I it went smoother than I expected, honestly, right up until mudding and taping. And then I was like, oh no, this is not it. I can't do this. I'm dying. And I've ruined all the hard work I've done. That was the big feeling. And you're like, honestly, for the first attempt, I don't even think it's that bad.
SPEAKER_01:I watch a lot of home content. Yeah, I follow a lot of people who DIY projects. I've watched a lot of people mud and tape for the first time. He did totally fine. It's hard.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, at least that's what they say. I've never tried it.
SPEAKER_00:I had never tried it either. Even my dad, who we did our entire basement, hired that part out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Nothing else but that we hired.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and I feel like the people who are good at it are precise, like they have precision. They are practice, they are machines. Yeah. Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Well, because sometimes, sometimes when you hire a professional, it's about how fast they can do it. As opposed to like if some things, if you take enough time, you can do a good, a pretty good job. It just will take you a really long time. Like, it took me a lot longer to frame out these walls than it would somebody who frames professionally. But at the end, I had some well-framed walls. Mud and tape is faster and better. Yeah. Like, that's what you're paying for. You're paying for somebody that really knows what they're doing and they do it well.
SPEAKER_01:I agree.
SPEAKER_00:So.
SPEAKER_01:But you made it out.
SPEAKER_00:But you get what you pay for, and this is what we got.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, something like that.
SPEAKER_00:They're off camera. You'll never know what it's like.
SPEAKER_01:No, they look really good. They really do. I I've been very impressed. Matt's planning on continuing the project outside of this room and doing uh an office space and a little photography studio space for me. And the thing about that is the photography studio space will have drywall as the backdrop. And they define different textures uh of drywall at different levels. And a level five is a completely smooth drywall, and that's what you want for a photography studio backdrop. And so Mass. No blemishes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Completely skim coated.
SPEAKER_01:He's been practicing his level five uh drywalling for me.
SPEAKER_00:This would be practice, not level five.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like you did pretty good though. For a first attempt, I did pretty good. I have the utmost confidence then that when you get to redoing the office and finishing out the rest of this garage, that you've got it in the bag.
SPEAKER_00:If I give myself more than two days, I feel really solid about it.
SPEAKER_01:And I think that's a requirement. Yes. I don't ever want to see you do a project like that again.
SPEAKER_00:No, it's not good for you. It's horrible. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It makes me really, really miserable and grumpy. Which I I hate. We've talked about this a little bit off camera and not on microphones, but it's really tough working on a project like this with the podcast for me, because as much as we do frame it lightheartedly, I think that it is the harder part of me being a more neurotypical thinking, processing, functioning person with you and your brain working differently and supporting you in that while also not letting it um feel personal to me. Does that make sense? Am I am I clocking?
SPEAKER_00:That that definitely makes sense. And just like you're somebody who can do a little bit of a project at a time. And so watching somebody work for 12 to 14 hours a day, nine days in a row, on anywhere between like two and four hours of sleep is not a uh it just doesn't compute for you. You're like, this is crazy, and you've had four months to do this. Like, as much as it sounds impressive to build a studio in nine or ten days when you had four months prior, that's less impressive. That's more just like a bad idea.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I agree. It's still impressive.
SPEAKER_00:It's a feat, but it's very much a why. It's like setting the world record for stacking office chairs. Like, it's a world record. I don't know what it serves. Yeah. I don't think that was a good comparison. Like, that was not a good metaphor, but I followed through with it. And I said it like it made sense. And if I hadn't said anything, you'd have been confused.
SPEAKER_01:And I sat and I I'm thinking about it still. I was trying.
SPEAKER_00:So you just cut your camera so that we couldn't see how confused you look, and then it would look very smart.
SPEAKER_01:All right. We're we're we're bringing back bad dad, mean mom. Uh this is a segment where we like to talk about some parenting failures of ours. And this week is definitely more mean mom than bad dad, in my opinion.
SPEAKER_00:Normally parenting goes perfectly for everybody. You're so right. And so we like to just take little pieces that make us look, you know, a little more human.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, totally. Uh, this week for me, I wrote down trying to explain cell service to a two-year-old and a four-year-old. How'd that go? Poorly. I uh was solo parenting. Matt did an overnight trip with friends to a little cabin. Meet me at the is it cat at the cottage. I think he says cottage. Meet me at the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. Matt went with some buddies to the cottage.
SPEAKER_00:Uh me and the boys went to the cottage.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:What about it?
SPEAKER_01:What about it?
SPEAKER_00:We're a progressive group.
SPEAKER_01:There was no cell service. And so I was prepared that he may not have cell service. Did not consider it all that I did not prepare the children that you wouldn't have cell service. Yeah. And so it got to we tried to call you around dinner time, and I was like, oh, he didn't answer. And then at bedtime, we tried to give you another ring and it wasn't going through.
SPEAKER_00:At that point, my phone was dead.
SPEAKER_01:And that was the point that things started to get real iffy. There was the conversation of, well, we don't have to FaceTime him, just call him. And I was like, oh no, no, I'm not even trying to FaceTime. Like, there's no service. In which the way that I communicated it to them, they then translated as you were never coming home. So that wasn't good. Like they thought their dad was just like done.
SPEAKER_00:They went with the well, we can FaceTime anybody anytime, or we can try. If we can't even try, he's there's there is no dad anymore. Right. Dad's gone.
SPEAKER_01:And so then they were devastated about that, understandably. Plus side, they missed me. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:You know, they weren't like, well, dads come, dads go.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And I anyway, I just I felt bad. I felt so bad. I wish that I would have prepared them that when we say bye to dad right now, we may not be able to talk to him at all until tomorrow or Sunday or whatever.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that would have been. Would have been the move, I could have also prepared them. Like, hey, I won't get to talk to you, but there's just also a reflex of like, well, talk to you later. Bye. And then not so much.
SPEAKER_01:I ended up telling them that I would give them a play-by-play on the story, How I Met Their Dad.
SPEAKER_00:How did that go?
SPEAKER_01:It was good. Uh, I gave them the whole story. I told them that for our first date, we went to go see the blind side. They asked me what the blind side was. I was telling them about football. And then they like couldn't keep it straight and kept asking me if they could see pictures of when you played football. And I was like, no.
SPEAKER_00:No, actually, in high school, he was a very skinny, slender boy that did not have any business playing football. Would have been broken in half.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think that's true at all. I think you're forgetting what high school football players look like.
SPEAKER_00:That's fair.
SPEAKER_01:You just played soccer.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I looked like it.
SPEAKER_01:You were plenty big to play high school football.
SPEAKER_00:Also I needed some muscle mass to play. Yeah. To play football.
SPEAKER_01:You definitely weren't somebody I would define as mass.
SPEAKER_00:No, I was not a mass forward boy.
SPEAKER_01:No. But I didn't know anybody in high school that was mass forward.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_00:16-year-old boy is not usually known for mass.
SPEAKER_01:No. So I did hear that you became quite the content creator in December. I don't know why I'm asking, like I'm hearing about things about you from anybody.
SPEAKER_00:Like you also didn't have to support my content creation career. Yeah, all of December.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I did do that. So tell me a little more about that, I guess.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I decided to participate in Vlogmas, which I did zero research on what Vlogmas was beforehand. I did understand that I had to make daily videos. I didn't understand the nuances of it or like the format that it typically takes. So my videos were kind of all over the place. But I did do daily videos almost through the end of the month, which apparently you're supposed to stop at Christmas, which makes sense why it's Vlogmas, like as in Christmas, not Vlog Sember. Um Vlog Sembers so cool.
SPEAKER_01:You should do that next year.
SPEAKER_00:I was doing a Vlog Sember Vlogmas hybrid because basically I got to December 26th or 7th, realized, oh, like nobody else is doing these videos, and then I only did like one or two more the rest of the month. So I I was every day up until December 26th, and then did like two or three more.
SPEAKER_01:You are uh easy to convince to quit kind of guy. I you're like, oh, nobody else is doing it? Never mind.
SPEAKER_00:I really do. I believe in if all my friends jumped off a cliff, why wouldn't I jump off a cliff? All my friends just jumped off. Right. Like that is my personal philosophy.
SPEAKER_01:That's a core value of yours.
SPEAKER_00:The core value of mine is like no man left behind, especially if it's me.
SPEAKER_01:Especially if it's me. One of my favorite parts about you being back on the internet is the comment section. I love that you respond to almost every single comment people leave.
SPEAKER_00:It got a little challenging when I was doing content every single day. Some of those days got away from me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but you responded to a lot of comments.
SPEAKER_00:What's the video of?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay. Sorry. It's the Carb Carbonara. Carbonara? Carbonara. Carbonara, your best performing video from your entire month of Vlogmas. Was your video making Carbonara?
SPEAKER_02:Really?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. You had some other ones that were trends that performed better, but it was your boat, it was your best true vlog.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like it was something that you edited, voiced over, etc.
SPEAKER_00:I did get a lot better at editing. You did? The first week I was unbelievably slow. You were slow the whole month, man. No offense. Well, I was unbelievably slow the first week. And then I was just slow after that. I improved as slow.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. You weren't, you definitely weren't quick, but some it made me laugh because people were kind of trolling you. Somebody commented and said, How would you make this if someone doesn't eat eggs or bacon? And you said the answer is cereal. I liked that you just rolled with whatever people said.
SPEAKER_00:I find that's the best way to explain.
SPEAKER_01:So he said, I can't believe we've we're almost in double digits. And you said, It feels just as insane to me.
SPEAKER_00:I have, for those who don't know, a long track record of starting to make content and that lasting for between three days and three months. And then disappearing for equally as long. So this was an attempt for me to make content, show up regularly. I was doing good with that and wanted to carry it into January, and then I started making a podcast studio because I kind of screwed myself on that one. And so I fell off the wagon building a podcast studio. And I won't lie, it felt a little bit weird to start back into content as everything in Minnesota was going on. And so I think as the podcast is rolling out, my goal is to start back up, making regularly scheduled content. Because I didn't want to share the podcast building studio, like podcast studio building in real time, just so that we could do it with the launch.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It did make me laugh, though, that a lot of people, as your content streak went on, people kept making jokes of like, we may never see Matt again. This is his last ditch effort. He may only be here for smoke him while you got him.
SPEAKER_00:That's a good Matt Overby content philosophy.
SPEAKER_01:I do think it's really fun that people online have gotten to know your personality and things about you in that way, that it has become a bit because I think so many people talk about how consistency is so important to having an online audience and creating content. And I I do think it's important.
SPEAKER_00:I think you are saved by the fact that I have a certain uh yeah, I have a consistent set of training wheels that go with me. Um where when people don't see my content because it's not being made, they they have you.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And so I'm not trying to say that it's possible to do this and anybody, whatever. I just think it's cool to see an audience like enjoy you. I don't know. I I you're you're fun. So that was really fun for me to watch. I really enjoyed it. I'm hoping that we'll have some recurring pieces of content and then maybe I can share some of the funny comments as they come.
SPEAKER_00:That that's my goal too. And so, again, with the rollout of the podcast, with having the studio behind me and being able to take on a project at a reasonable pace, like doing the office, I'm excited to get back into doing that. That's probably a good segue to what we really wanted to talk about today, which of course is February new year planning. Obviously, it was just February 1st. It's time to set resolutions, goals for the new year. January was a wash. Nobody wants January.
SPEAKER_01:I really do think that I am going to start thinking of my calendar year and when it comes to goal setting, more as a starting in the spring because I feel like it's a recurring issue for me every single year that in January and February I get so down on myself when I don't feel like I'm making the progress I want to on the fresh goals that I've set. But I feel like January and February are kind of tough months to make a lot of progress on some types of goals, not everything. Like I think it's definitely a time that I could be focusing on any kind of goals I have for maybe my health or inside goals. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I like it. It's kind of like a circadian rhythm for goals and life. Like in terms of you have the circadian rhythm of like the sun comes up, that's when you're really supposed to like go, you know, when the sun goes down, you're supposed to go to sleep.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:This is kind of that approach, as opposed to being stuck to the calendar or the clock. As the case for the circadian anyway. Thought it was a good comp, and then you looked at me like No, I'm No.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just listening and looking that your mics held the wrong way. Oh, perfect, perfect, perfect.
SPEAKER_00:I do think that I mean, I'm someone who I have a real love-hate relationship with the calendar because I just talked to my therapist about this today, actually. I have a real tendency, like when I break a habit, I'm like, well, this this month is over. I I love a good hard reset in terms of and it's arbitrary. Like the number of times that and I was making a joke this weekend about it. Actually, like you set a goal and you're working on it in the new year, and then it gets to March, and you break your habit, and then you put it off, and all of a sudden you haven't done it, and you're like, you know what, this year's a wash, I'm done with it. And then you get to November and you're like, why did I quit in March? Like the whole year was left, but it seemed like it was over at that time, and that's um unfortunately how things work for me sometimes. But February, starting in the spring, doing that is a better approach, I think, for actually integrating changes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I don't relate to that.
SPEAKER_00:No, I'm glad you don't because it's not a great philosophy.
SPEAKER_01:I love to check in and I love New Year's and I love setting goals and things like that, but I have never really related to the way chunks of time work. And I remember I like this is something that will live with me for the rest of my life. I'm never gonna forget it. And I think that it's kind of in the vein of what you're talking about. One of Matt's very, very best friends, when Matt was living in St. Louis, his best friend had moved back here in Fayetteville, but he didn't really have like a big friend group. And so once a week, him and I would go get lunch.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it was just my girlfriend and my buddy.
SPEAKER_01:You're one of your best friends, yeah. And so I remember we're sitting there, we're eating lunch one day, and Matt's friend said, No, I'm not contributing to my retirement because I'm already too far behind.
SPEAKER_00:He was 25 tops.
SPEAKER_01:And I remember, I remember in that moment, like it has stuck with me.
SPEAKER_00:There's a reason we're friends because I probably was like, man, if I hadn't started already, I totally get it. Yep. Like, that's for the next life.
SPEAKER_01:This was almost 10 years ago, and it still lives rent-free in my head.
SPEAKER_00:Father of three now.
SPEAKER_01:And I was like, like, he he was single at the time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Or maybe, maybe him and his wife were dating.
SPEAKER_00:No, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:I I feel like he was just single and then he was married, but that's not true. Because it was also like, I'm probably just never gonna get married. Like, I just don't think it's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Okay, this is all true.
SPEAKER_00:It's probably hand in hand. He's like, I'm gonna die alone with no money. We are both fathers of three at this point.
SPEAKER_01:But I remember that blew my mind, and I came home to tell you about it, and you were like, Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me. And I've been trying to figure you out ever since.
SPEAKER_00:Because I I just don't so curious that she married me.
SPEAKER_01:I do a little bit at a time. I am a little bit at a time girl. I do.
SPEAKER_00:Great saber, you're a great planner.
SPEAKER_01:I do, and I do all of that. I do a little bit at a time. It looks really unimpressive at first. It always does. And if you keep at it for a long time and are consistent, it eventually starts to look impressive.
SPEAKER_00:Sure. And but you can't get there without no time.
SPEAKER_01:You have to do the time and you have to take on a habit at a level in which you can commit to.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, that really is the key. What can you commit to?
SPEAKER_00:Me, I can commit to building a room in nine days. Because I can see immediate results.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like if you committed to building a room in nine days, you'd try to do it in four. 100%. You can commit to building a room in four months, and then you do it in nine days.
SPEAKER_00:Yep. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But just to clarify.
SPEAKER_00:That's my plan with my whole life. In that last 15 years, boom.
SPEAKER_01:You're not really a goal setter.
SPEAKER_00:Um goals rely on a concept of the future and developing slowly. And I don't have a good grasp on either one of those. I think one day I'm just gonna be great at something. Maybe, or I'll never do it. And it's not a good uh, it's not a good goal setting philosophy, but you've uh you've helped me a lot, actually, with goals, I will say. You've you've done a lot of really good because I hate to start. I always describe myself as a high inertia person, which is such bullshit.
SPEAKER_01:It's you okay, you don't like the spin propaganda.
SPEAKER_00:You don't like the spin, but it's a really good phrase. It's a good phrase. No, it's and that's why you hate it, because it sounds so good, but what it is is kind of shitty.
SPEAKER_01:That's my exact point.
SPEAKER_00:But that's good branding. That's branding, baby. Okay, anyway, high inertia person. Very hard to start, very hard to stop. That means when you get going on something, I have the ability to keep going until I physically collapse.
SPEAKER_01:I'd like to go ahead and pause and talk about. Didn't Matt just a minute ago talk about how he's really quick to quit and stop?
SPEAKER_00:That's a habit. That's a habit. It's not like a project. It has to be self-contained. It has to be self-contained.
SPEAKER_01:It has to be self-contained. But if you can get Matt started on folding laundry, he might finish folding the laundry.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. If it's all available to be folded and doesn't require me to start and stop folding laundry. If you handed me a mountain of laundry, all the laundry is washed and dried at one time. That's a great example, actually.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:All the laundry is washed and folded at one time.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:It's it fills the entire bed three feet high.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Which one of us is gonna get through that?
SPEAKER_01:Which one of us is gonna put ourselves in that situation?
SPEAKER_00:No, no.
SPEAKER_01:See, this is why it's dumb.
SPEAKER_00:High inertia, baby.
SPEAKER_01:Matt's like, hey, if you put me in this really precarious, crazy situation where we had to just do labor for hours on end and make ourselves miserable. High inertia, high inertia, labor for and then it goes around calling me low inertia. Like that's agile.
SPEAKER_00:So you brand is agile.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not agile. You can pick it up, you can study, consistent, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I am reliable, reliable, agile, hostile, but just to me when I talk about initial inertia.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, go ahead. Give your give your high inertia lowest.
SPEAKER_00:I already I already did it. It's fine. I'm good at continuing, but you're really good at starting, and you're good at like you've done a really good job in a lot of things where you know me really well and you help push me to start. Sometimes it's just like I'm gonna start doing it myself, being you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Then I'm like, well, I gotta get involved. And then you can just walk away.
SPEAKER_01:That's become less and less effective.
SPEAKER_00:It's hard to trick me. I'm very smart.
SPEAKER_01:You're insufferable. Oh, that's really funny.
SPEAKER_00:Did I talk to my therapist about that? That it's hard to trick myself. If I could just trick myself, stuff would be so much easier. But I start to not trust myself. I'm like, I think I'm trying to trick me. I think I'm trying to make myself do something good because I don't want to. You ever had that level of demand avoidance?
SPEAKER_01:Babe, I've never experienced demand avoidance in my life. Somebody asked me to do something. I am a people pleaser. You ask me to do anything, I'm like, yeah, no problem. You ask me to do something else. You can be like, hey, I'm manipulating you, and I would like you to do this, this, and this for me. I'm like, yep, got it. I'm on it. Like, PDA fears me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Our two-year-old asks something. I'm like, I think he's trying to get me. I think like the how is he how is he scheming to get me to do something?
SPEAKER_01:Quite literally, I can't say enough to him that children can't manipulate you.
SPEAKER_00:Can I have gotten better at not acting on that? But it's hard. Sometimes I'm just like, this baby is trying to get me to do something.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Meet its needs.
SPEAKER_00:I know. But what's its motive? To have its needs met. That's weird.
SPEAKER_01:I don't like that at all. Let's go ahead and reel that back and never say it again.
SPEAKER_00:Don't trust the babies. You seen Boss Baby? Documentary.
SPEAKER_01:I'd like you to know Matt's 100% clip farming right now.
SPEAKER_00:What tipped you off when I stared down the barrel?
SPEAKER_01:It said, Boss Baby, that's a documentary. Boss baby, documentary. Like, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00:Our job, damn it. You want clips? This I'll get you, I'll get you clips. Is that somebody putting down our podcast? Every year.
SPEAKER_01:Overthinking with the overpeas. 2026 to 2026.
SPEAKER_00:February 3rd to February 3rd. Oh, that was good. That was good podcasting.
SPEAKER_01:Can I ask you about one of your goals of the year? Are you just gonna freak out and think I'm manipulating you?
SPEAKER_00:Don't do that.
SPEAKER_01:We've set goals on a podcast, I think three years now. And if there's one way to guarantee something won't happen, it's make Matt commit to it on a podcast.
SPEAKER_00:I really thought, see, you know what it was? I thought the public accountability would help me. And then I think I thought I was trying to trick myself with the public accountability. You are well, I was, but then I felt manipulated by me.
SPEAKER_01:And so you wanted to prove to yourself that you can't be held accountable. No one can does anybody listening even know what PDA is?
SPEAKER_00:Pathological demand avoidance.
SPEAKER_01:It's made up, in my opinion.
SPEAKER_00:I think it's Joe believes it stands for just like being a dickhead, but spelling it however I want.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Not actually, but no, she's seen how nonsensical it is, and she's like, this has to be a disorder, but it's kind of fucked up. It's horrible. It is, but it's also so self-induced. It's not, it's not not self-induced like you started it with yourself. It's just like the negative outcomes are so self-induced. Right. That you're like, why are you doing this to yourself?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's not a it's not a disorder that feels very like, oh man, what a what a tough break. It's like, wow, they really fucked around and found out.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I really do think I'm starting to feel the pendulum swing on mental health.
SPEAKER_00:Because this this podcast is anti-mental health.
SPEAKER_01:No, there was this point that I'm like, no, we need to understand people. And now I'm like, we gotta swing it back.
SPEAKER_00:You know what? That is something we agree on a little bit. Is there is so much conversation about um how to support people's mental health, supporting people's mental health, which I think is good, and I don't think we do enough things to be clear.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not actually anti-mental health.
SPEAKER_00:Access to mental health, super important, accommodating people's mental health, important, but there is also a degree where we have to balance the functioning of a society in terms of you have to be able to fit in. You can't just be an abrasive person because that's what feels most natural to you, because everyone has to do some level of working together.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and I don't think that individuals having uh more leeway actually leads to better mental health outcomes. I think that we're trying to treat a systemic issue with individual privileges. Yeah. And it doesn't work. Like we need to work together to fix systemic problems that will then result in better flow of health care and mental health care as a whole.
SPEAKER_00:And not to get into it, but well, it's it's the it's the individual rights conversation of like my rights end where your rights begin. Right. You can't just use your rights to plow over other people's experience and life as much as like you want to accommodate somebody as much as you can and not impede everyone else. So that's a that's a hard balance to strike, but sometimes it does feel like it gets pushed too far into like you have to accommodate everything about me that is not a strength. Yes. And that's where it gets challenging.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and I think that's somewhere that our marriage has been really challenging, it's probably not the right word.
SPEAKER_00:It's been a beating.
SPEAKER_01:That's what that's why being married to you has been.
SPEAKER_00:It's awful. I'm on a podcast talking about stuff. She's getting really annoyed. Because I don't know where you're going. I don't either. You gotta enjoy the ride.
SPEAKER_02:Matt's like clip, clip, clip, clip.
SPEAKER_00:What's wrong with Matt? Like, I don't feel like you're about to make money anymore. I'm about to land this plane.
SPEAKER_02:I don't think you even know what I was saying, which is fine.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, wait, pause. Matt and I.
SPEAKER_00:But if you do want to know my goals, um, I want to be able to restart the habits that I break.
SPEAKER_01:That's really good.
SPEAKER_00:And that's somewhere I've made a lot of progress, I think, in the last year of just not quitting in March, like I was talking about earlier. It's going, damn it, okay. Well, April, I'm really gonna actually pick it up again.
SPEAKER_01:And just giving myself a little bit of uh grace in terms of just if you miss a workout or even a week of workouts, you can go back to work out again?
SPEAKER_00:Yes, and not being like, well, shit, I'm out of shape for the rest of my life. Like, because that is the feeling in the moment. The moment is like, man, you didn't you didn't work out today, you didn't work out yesterday. Like, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_01:Does saying it out loud help?
SPEAKER_00:Like, does saying how absurd it is? Yeah, yeah. Some of it. Some of it is just going, that's one of the dumber things I've heard today. It came out of your mouth.
SPEAKER_01:Because when you say it out loud to me, I'm like, that sounds crazy.
SPEAKER_00:It does.
SPEAKER_01:But if you don't say it out loud, does it feel crazy in your head?
SPEAKER_00:You know, I don't have an internal monologue. One. Okay. So it's just a feeling of like, well, that's it. Your life is over. I'm never gonna save a retirement. Pass me by, it's never gonna grow. It's just that feeling. And then if you don't ever check that feeling or you don't ever communicate that feeling to someone else to go, wow, that is a sad sack. Like, not that's not a real thing. It's really easy just to act on it and never go there. So and that's that's been the thing is uh when it comes to working out, I've had a real habit of like, okay, if I'm eating the way I want to eat and I'm working out and I'm doing all the things, then I'll be good with it. But if I break any one of those, they can all fall apart. And so this last year's been a lot of like, okay, you didn't follow the diet you were trying to follow, but you can still go to your workouts, or you didn't go to your workouts, you can still just doing parts of things, like that's a big goal, and it's kind of like a whole thought process change. I don't even know if it's feasible, but it's just trying to keep it consciously.
SPEAKER_01:No, I think that's cool. I think that's a really cool goal. I like that.
unknown:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I went a really different direction with my answer. Yeah. I want to work with Sonic. That's what I wrote down. That's a great goal. I didn't know that we were doing like big emotional.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I'm trying to get some emotional clips, some funny clips. Trying to do it all, you know.
SPEAKER_01:I uh don't have anything like that.
SPEAKER_00:We'll clip the Sonic bit, see if Sonic wants to work with us.
SPEAKER_01:I think I gotta just keep, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Right there, over there, maybe. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, now it's weird. Now I wish videos. Now I wish I wouldn't have even said it.
SPEAKER_00:Sorry, cut that.
SPEAKER_01:Cut that, cut that.
SPEAKER_00:My real goal is to deadlift 500 pounds. Is it really? I don't know. I bet I could do it though if I worked at it.
SPEAKER_01:I bet I could meet a goal if I try. If I set a goal like that, what do you deadlift right now?
SPEAKER_00:I haven't I haven't deadlifted for max weight in a year.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, well, then it seems really dumb to make that your goal.
SPEAKER_00:I'll start. It'll be a series I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:I'll do it in jeans. I don't know what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01:I don't either. So stupid. I really thought episode one we'd keep it on the rails, but turns out that's definitely not gonna happen. So Jesus Mother.
SPEAKER_00:Uh, the rails were the friends we met along the way. And ain't that the truth?
SPEAKER_01:Well, on that note, you can rate the podcast, you can review the podcast, you can leave us kind words, you can leave us a voicemail, you can email us because we love, love, love, love talking with you all and reading your messages and listening to your voicemails. All of that will be in the show notes below. Yep. Every Wednesday, we'll be back here to chit-chat. And I would love to say that we're gonna get it more together. But you know what?
SPEAKER_00:That's our goal.
SPEAKER_01:Relaunch, the goal already happened. This is the result, and this is, I guess, the best we could do.
SPEAKER_00:We're doing it. We did it.
SPEAKER_01:We're in better lighting, if nothing else.
SPEAKER_00:We look great doing it.