Bat Ears And Comment Think Pieces

We bounce from weird hearing test results and early iPhone nostalgia to a brutally real week of hand, foot, and mouth that is knocking our whole house flat. We also get into Coachella content, the attention economy, Greek life in US colleges, and why a full life makes us all better parents and partners. 

Join us this week for:
• talking to ourselves out loud and what that says about us 
• hearing tests, speech frequencies, and needing subtitles for life 
• mosquito ringtones, old text tones, and tech nostalgia 
• first iPhone sightings and the iPod era 
• vinyl coming back and the move toward owning music 
• hand, foot, and mouth symptoms and how it spreads at home 
• a viral meningitis scare and when to take symptoms seriously 
• Lake launch details and what we are excited about 
• Coachella content categories from friends to brand houses 
• influencer ethics, transparency, and backlash in comments 
• the attention economy and why outrage drives engagement 
• word of the week: withershins 
• US college culture and what sororities are really like 
• mom guilt, identity, and caregiver burnout 

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
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Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Cold Open And Forgetting Names

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Old man style.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Old man style. Flashlight on. I brain off. Brain off. Ain't that the truth? I'm Joe. I'm Matt. Welcome to Overthinking with the Overbees. What?

SPEAKER_00 0:19

You got it. It always takes, I feel like, both of us like a microsecond longer than it should to remember which podcast this is.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Overthinking with the Overbeads. Overthinking. I'm I was trying to give it a nice minute to sound like I was overthinking.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

You're letting it breathe. Yeah. No, I I was overthinking it. Anytime I forget something, I like to say I was letting it breathe.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yeah. Just an unnecessary space.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Is that like a new bit that you're trying to work in? Because I don't think I've ever heard you say that.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Maybe I'm just imagining it.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah. I talk to myself a lot.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Out loud?

unknown 0:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Have to. No internal monologue.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

I okay. So great. Believe you. I've never heard you talk out loud to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

I'm quiet because I know it's weird.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

I talk out loud to myself all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

I do it in space. Like I I kind of know when I'm by myself and then I talk through it. Usually if I have to like really choose my words.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Well, this is making me sad. Why? You don't feel safe to just like be your whole self when I'm in the house.

Hearing Tests And Speech Frequencies

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Well, it's probably a conversation I'm gonna have with you. And then if I'm talking to myself out loud, you're gonna be like, what? I mean, not really, because you can't hear, but have we talked about our hearing tests?

SPEAKER_03 1:35

No, you can tell them about our hearing test.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

We have okay. I have really good hearing. And I'm like a bat. You yeah, exactly. I've had I've abused my ears through the years. I was in a garage band that we played with the door down semi-frequently. I listened to headphones really loud a lot as a kid, but I've lost almost no hearing. I mean like 96%, which at 33 is pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Yeah. You on the other hand, Matt was complaining that I must have hearing loss because Yeah, I thought we should explore it.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

You know, because I never hear him. But the thing is, I don't think I have hearing loss. And this was my theory before. Also, yes, my voice is gone. Sorry. I wish I could control it. My theory when it came to my hearing wasn't that I had lost hearing. There is something about a certain tone in volume that I can't make it out very well. Yeah. And it's talking tone.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

It's like 1,000 to 5,000.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Yeah, it's it's people's talking tones. And so if there are a lot of things at that level happening, yeah, I'll have to say, Hey, can we turn that off or can we XYZ? Because I can't.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

You need subtitles for life.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Yeah. And Matt was like, that's hearing loss. And I was like, I don't think so. So my test, yeah, you can tell them about my test.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

So again, normal is like you have some hearing loss and it's it tapers towards the higher frequencies. So like once you get up above like 10,000 hertz or something, that's somewhere in there, like several thousand hertz, which is higher frequencies. Those start to fall off more because as you get older, those hairs in your inner ear like go faster or something. I don't know. They're probably like thinner. So you should normally see like it falling off somewhat. Joe's, she starts with some hearing loss, and then it goes actually up above where she's lost any hearing. She has like plus decibels in the like 10, 15, 20,000 hertz range, which doesn't make any sense, but it does mean you're like some kind of dog or bat.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

Well, and the first time I took it, I thought I'd done something wrong. And so I took the test three separate times because I was so convinced something was wrong, and I nailed the exact same curve and result every single time. It was a little different. But no, I don't even know how you would.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

I feel like you just kind of like guess that it maybe was beeping, you know? No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Was it beep?

SPEAKER_00 4:17

I don't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

It it was just a tone. Like it was like a constant tone, and it would go higher, and then when you tapped it that you couldn't hear it anymore, it would go lower. Oh yeah. And then it would start to go like, and then when you started hearing it again, you would hold it down and then it would go up to higher until you couldn't hear it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. If this is making sense, and you were just holding it down way past you could hear.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Yeah, and I was just saying I can hear this all the time. I can hear all frequencies. No, which I do agree with that. I feel like I do a good job in terms of hearing higher frequencies.

Mosquito Ringtones And Text Tones

SPEAKER_00 4:55

You're like a prime candidate for the like the mosquito ringtone. Yeah. Are people still doing that? There's no way, right? I've I have no idea what you're talking about. What? You don't you don't remember in high school, people would get would use the like it's like 15,000 hertz. It's really high. Most adults don't have hearing in that range anymore. And so people would use it as a ringtone that like people couldn't hear so much.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

No, we didn't do that.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

I don't anyway. Yeah, the mosquito ringtone. It was a thing, it was totally a thing.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

I believe you that it sounds like something that people would do.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I just like I was like, You're a prime kid, you could still be doing that.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Maybe I should.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Just annoying.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

My ringtone's been the same since high school for text messages.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Oh, really? Yeah. Just stop. What what's your oh kim possible? Yeah. I forgot. I was like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03 5:49

Yeah, it's it's been the same since I was 17. Facts. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yeah. Do you have it?

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

I don't set it every time. It's that I got an iPhone.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Oh, on your first iPhone and my first iPhone.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

I well, I had it on my phone before that.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Because I'd paid and downloaded it. And then when I got my first iPhone, I was like, I still want that.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Yeah, for like$2.99 you got it or something.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

And I was like, you know what? That's fun. And I haven't thought about it since, but it transfers with every phone. It like auto-transfers as my setting.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

People notice it.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

People do notice it.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

It's a conversation started with someone new.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

And they're always like, Oh, that's you know, when did you do that? Like it's been like that since high school.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

20 years. Well, but 20 years, you would have been 12. Did you have a phone at 12?

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Uh no. Okay. The iPhone didn't exist when we were 12.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

But you said you did it on your phone before the iPhone.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

I still remember. Do you remember seeing the iPhone for the first time?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Yes. Yeah.

First iPhone Memories

SPEAKER_03 6:46

You do? Okay, wait, let's trade stories. You go first.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Okay. I had a friend, Sammy. Uh, I think I was a sophomore or a junior. You would have been a junior. Yeah. But maybe I was a senior. Anyway, junior, somewhere around junior year. We had a class that was just like really freeform. And he walked in and he had one. And I was like, what? What is this? I mean, not really, because like it was huge news. Yeah. That was the first time I saw somebody in high school with one.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

The camera was trash. But I mean, so they all were. No one was actually using them as cameras, really.

SPEAKER_03 7:21

So the first time I ever saw one was in, I don't know if it was history or I don't know, some kind of class like that. And Paul sponsored, shout out, shout out Paul. I sat behind him in class and his aunt or mom, or I don't know, somebody, his grandma, I have no idea, got him the brand. It was like the fall that it came out. Oh yeah. Like iPhone one launched. I think it was his grandma, got him one. Was like, here you go. And all of us were like, oh thought it was the coolest thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah, I just liked it because it was like an iPod touch that you could make calls on.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

They didn't have the iPhone, the uh iPod touch yet when the iPhone came out, baby. Didn't they? No.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Are we sure?

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Yes. I'm positive. So sure? I'm so sure.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Because after the iPhone came out, I mean, I'm not so sure. You could look it up and my memory could be wrong, but you know me with dates and stuff. Yeah. That's usually where I am strong. So again, I mean, I'm happy to stand corrected, but it came out and then the iPhone or the iPod touch came out shortly thereafter.

iPods Then Breaking An iPod

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Okay. I guess so. I remember I used to watch videos on my iPod classic. That tiny square screen. Then you'd put like a 16 by 9 ratio movie on there. You were watching it on, I don't know, an inch and a half screen. You'd have to be like right here. But people are doctoring up their iPad iPods now. Really? I should fix the one that you got me that I broke two days after I got it. I that I'm so sad.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

That still hurts me. Not not you breaking it. You how you felt about breaking it still hurts me.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah. Yeah, it kind of broke my heart.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Yeah, you handled it terrible. Well, I mean You didn't handle it like you got angry. It's just like you took it so personally. Like you took so much personal guilt on for I felt really guilty about it.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

And I was like saved money and got me this really nice gift. And I put it in a case. I was trying to be so careful with it.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Wouldn't put it in his pocket.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Nope. Wouldn't put it in my pocket. Wouldn't even use it till I got a case. Got a case. We were getting in the car, and for some reason I said it. It's like when you leave a drink on top of your car, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Put it on top of the car because you didn't want to put it in your pocket.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Oh, that's I'm an idiot.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Because you had your keys in your pocket.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

Honestly impressed that we even found it though.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

It is impressive we found it. But the thing is, it was heavy enough that it we got all the way through the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Until we hit the highway.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

And then I turned out onto the highway and I heard a noise, just like a boon. I was like, what the hell was that? And then I realized. I immediately realized. And I pulled over and I found it in the ditch, but it hadn't destroyed the back.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

And uh the front is perfect. You still have it? Oh, I still have it. Yeah, it's in the office. I never got rid of it. I always meant to repair it, but at the time it was a little bit harder to get some of the parts.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Mom and dad, up till a couple years ago, had kept my iPod mini.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Did they get rid of it?

SPEAKER_03 10:29

I hope not. It was in my drawer at home, but they switched out all that furniture, so I don't know what mom did with it.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

I feel like your parents don't get rid of this.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

I think they would have held on to it because my mom had asked me and I asked her to hold on to it, but I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

I know you had a shuffle. Do you mean the mini with the screen? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

I had a silver iPod mini and I got it for Christmas warning. If you have children listening, we're gonna talk super secret Santa.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Yeah, we're talking Santa, so skip ahead like a minute.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

Dad went, oh, here's the receipt for the iPod if you want to file that.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

And I was like, If you want to file that.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Yeah, and I to my mom, not to me.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Oh, I was like, what are you filing?

SPEAKER_03 11:08

What?

SPEAKER_00 11:09

I wouldn't put it past your family to be like, are you filing all your receipts?

SPEAKER_03 11:13

No. When you were 16, but no, and I was like, What? And my dad was like, You've gotta be kidding me. You're like a hundred years old. What's happening?

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Yeah. Well, they hadn't even been putting up a ruse, really.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

I should have given a a warning there that I was gonna Oh, yeah, trigger alert.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Santa's not real.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

I know, but what if they're listening with their kids? Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

Okay, wait.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Should we drop it? Do we need to like put a warning into the uh yeah?

SPEAKER_03 11:39

I'll insert a warning.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

We'll put it in post.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Anyway.

Vinyl Revival And Owning Music

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Yeah. Man. Good times. They're popular again.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

Really? Yeah. Like the old ones?

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah. Yeah. People are fixing up classics and all that stuff. Putting USB C ports in. Uh, there's like a whole movement back to like owning your music. Oh, okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. All the cool kids are doing that now.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

It's like a vinyl's cool again.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

You know, we're just following a cycle of like vinyls' been cool our whole life.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

But nobody did it like when we were in high school. Nobody had a record player. Can you think of anyone? I can't think of anyone. Okay, your sister was just trying to be cool earlier. Got it. I mean, she was on the head of the curve.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

But tell me this.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Like, if it's always been a thing when you've been trying to be cool, what think look back, there aren't that many vinyls pressed from that time. Like it's very difficult to find albums from like the early 2000s on vinyl. Some people still did it, they still exist, but it was all CDs and all MP3s. And so, because it costs money and they weren't selling.

SPEAKER_03 12:49

So when did the record thing become a thing?

SPEAKER_00 12:51

When did like when did records come back?

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Yeah, like when did it like when you say that that's really trending, when did that start trending?

SPEAKER_00 12:59

I don't know. Early 10s? Okay. Yeah. I bet, but like our like I bet early 10s was fairly early on it, like resurgence wise.

unknown 13:10

Cool.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Because when did I buy mine? I bought mine seven years ago, 18, 19.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Uh, you bought yours eight years ago.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Was it before or after we got married?

SPEAKER_03 13:21

It was before we got married.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

It was right after we moved in together. So it was it actually was.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

It was 18. I bet it was almost exactly eight years ago.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

And the reason I know that is because that's why I had my bridal shower.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Instead of bringing gifts, I asked people to bring me records. Yeah. And they did. And it was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Yeah, I I bet it was maybe it was mid. It doesn't matter. Really doesn't matter, but because I had some vinyls before I had a record player. I just bought them because they were like they're a cool size to display, even if you don't play them.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Tell everybody about our week.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Our week. This week should have been sponsored by like Zycam or something. Somebody who supports people with illnesses. Welli? Oh welly's supported. Shout out to that.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

What am I trying to say?

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Sponsor by. Yeah, we should be sponsored by Willy's Band-Aids. Wellies. I said Wellies.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

What'd you hear?

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Willys.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Willie's band-aids. Hey, he's got everything else. Why not Willie Nelson? Make band-aids. I'd buy them. We'd buy them. We'd both buy them. That's true. As long as they're cost effective. I wouldn't want to go crazy buying them. I probably would. You would. You would buy them when I wasn't looking.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

I love to waste some money.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Yeah. Well, you love uh, yeah. You you support you stimulate the economy.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

I do.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

You're big on that. I do.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

So uh I'm big. I like to buy something real niche and spend too much money on it.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

You're like, somebody worked hard on that. I want to buy it.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

It's not worth it, but I'll buy it.

SPEAKER_03 15:01

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

You know what? I respect it.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

That is me.

unknown 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

I'm not trying to convince anybody it's worth anything.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

That's true. You're never like, you have to have this. You're just like, I bought it.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

Yeah.

Hand Foot And Mouth Invasion

SPEAKER_00 15:11

It was a little bit like not the best idea, but they're pretty much exactly the same. Anyway, uh hand, foot, and mouth. I don't know if you've ever, you know, any of you all have experienced that, but everyone in our house, uh, barring me, yeah, has had or is currently dealing with hand, foot, and mouth.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Horrible.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Yeah. So if you don't know, you start out with a fever, which by the way, kids get fevers all the time.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

I mean frequently.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Not all the time, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Pretty, pretty regularly. And it really doesn't always mean like babies get them when they're teething. Like a fever is a sign that something's off, but not crazy.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

A low grade fever, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's not, they're not going 103 or 104, but a low grade fever pops up, you know, when the wind blows. But one of our kids had a fever. We were like, huh. Wonder what that is. Then he started getting blisters. It was like, oh no. Yeah. And we've known enough people with it to be like, well, that's what this is.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

That's not good.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

So we're trying to separate the kids and you know, sanitize the house.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

But the thing is, we did Easter egg hunts, we did, you know, the whole darn thing. I had uh slept nose to nose with patient zero because he didn't feel good.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, when they don't feel good, they run to our bed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

And they want to be in my skin. And so I would I had no shot.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

No, you didn't. Shot. Your only hope was that you'd had it as a kid.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

No shot.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

And then you had some form of immunity from it. Yeah because that's the only way I'm not like dying.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

I I got it later than everybody else did, though. Yeah. Like first one went down, and then a couple days later the other two kids went down. And then 24 after hours after. Well, I guess no. I went down at the same time.

Viral Meningitis Scare

SPEAKER_00 17:06

You you got on the tail end of the second wave. Yeah, you're right. But you presented uh because it was viral meningitis off the bat. You didn't get like, oh, I have a little fever. You got like, I have neck pain and viral meningitis. So that was cool, by the way. Very rare effect. It's like a couple percent of people that are exposed to hand, foot, and mouth virus will get or can get viral meningitis.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

That was really worried about me.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

I was because um meningitis is very dangerous. And if you have the signs of meningitis, you need to go to the hospital.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

Yeah, it was bad. I felt that might be the worst. Uh it's up there in the worst I've ever felt.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Up there with swine flu?

SPEAKER_03 17:51

Yeah. I think H1N1 was for worse. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

I was I've I didn't know whether to go swine flu or h1N1, but are they the same?

SPEAKER_03 18:02

To me, they're the same. I didn't have both. I just had H1N1. Okay. I thought they were the same thing, but maybe they're not.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

That was high school.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

I don't remember. H1N1 was bird flu.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

I don't remember. I had H1N1.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Because I feel like we've been worried about bird flu for a long time, but I don't know if it ever I got H1N1 in high school.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Yeah. And I was really like it was really, really bad.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

I got it, but I got it really mild.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Yeah, and then I got it from you, and I died.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

It destroyed you.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Yeah. Which just seems to be kind of a theme.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

I don't generally, I'm not the first one to go down, usually.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I was I was put into preschool from like my birth. So I think I've just been exposed to extra.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

Preschool, daycare.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Daycare. Yeah, daycare to preschool. I was a very I was a brilliant like four-week old. Yeah. I was a genius. So they just put me directly into school. They figured I'd just pick it up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

And and that you did.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Couldn't, yeah, had no motor function, couldn't see, but they yeah. They put me in there anyway. Yeah, no, I think I've just been exposed to literally every childhood disease.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

I got shingles at 25.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

What's crazy is you and Caroline both got shingles at 25 years old.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Yep. Yeah. Not everybody does that.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

No, and it's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

It's not mine, wasn't the worst.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

You caught yours early enough that it wasn't too much. I did.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

As a kid, as a as a kid, as a person who does not go to the doctor. Go to the doctor very quickly. That is one of the few examples of I went to the doctor on time and they were able to like manage it. Yeah. Because I looked at it and I was like, that's kind of weird. I had little little bumps spots on my neck.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

Speaking of spots, my feet have hurt so bad from this that I haven't been able to walk for days.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

I shouldn't say haven't been able to. I have walked, but it does not look normal. And I'm really scared they're gonna look so ugly this week and for weeks to come, and I'm afraid my nails are gonna fall off, which can happen.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Did you know that?

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Uh you said it and then I was.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

I know prior to me telling you that, did you know that?

Lake Launch Plug And Discount Code

SPEAKER_00 20:23

No, I didn't, but crazy. Well, I think you'd mentioned it earlier, like when the kids got it. But still, before you mention it, no. Sorry. It doesn't matter when you said it now that I'm thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

I'm just hoping the ones on my face don't get any worse because this week is lake launch. Lake, like, lake. Uh, it is my sixth year doing the lake collection with Riffraff. Matt's rocking a t-shirt. I'm rocking a sweatshirt from it. Uh, and I'm really excited about it. They launch Thursday, April 16th at 8 p.m. Central.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Nice. And right off the top.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

I'm stoked. Uh, Joe 15, I think, is 15% off if anybody listening wants to use that, but no pressure as always. I uh am really excited about though. I really like the collection. I'm really proud of how it turned out. I had a lot of fun shooting the pictures, and I'm glad we got the pictures done pre no joke. Uh me being down bad this week because pre-cocksaxy virus.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

And yeah, I think that's all I got from this week.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

That's the plug.

Drinks Talk And Nail Pain

SPEAKER_03 21:28

That's the plug. All right. Yeah. Uh what are you drinking?

SPEAKER_00 21:32

A lot of cool stuff. Uh, Diet Dr. Pepper, a classic.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Oh, I feel like you don't drink Diet Dr. Pepper that often.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Uh, it's when we run out of other things. I know, and the Diet Dr.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

Pepper's.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah, that's mainly for you.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

And then when you run out of other things, then it's gone.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Yeah. Yeah. It dwindles quickly.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

You drink so many drinks.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

I do drink a lot of drinks. It's not great.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

It's impressive.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

I need to, it's not impressive. It's not good for you. It's not like I don't, I'm not the person who's Like it's the worst thing ever for you. I just know it's not. I should be drinking more water.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

I drink a lot of water. I drink a fair amount of water, but I should be replacing my drinks with water.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Well, speaking of not replacing it with water.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

There you go. Well, it's not open.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

I'm drinking, I'm about to be drinking an Alani strawberry sunrise.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Blisty?

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Yeah. Ooh. What? That hurt so bad.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

I can't wait to look back at your your camera and watch you go.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

I can't explain to you. Like that felt like a, I don't know, lightning bolt going through my finger.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

That's yeah. It's not correct.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

The ones on I don't have bad blisters on my hands at all, but it's under my nails, which I'm really concerned. That means my nails are gonna fall off later.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

It feels like your nails might fall off.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

You know what? Do it for the plot, you know?

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

I can say, remember that time all my fingernails fell off.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Can you wear fake fingernails if you have no nail? I won't. Well, okay, I was just curious.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

I don't know if you can or can't, but I I won't.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

I guess you'd just be gluing it to skin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Well, I'm sure that you need to give space for them to like heal and breathe and grow back. I'm not enough. I don't need fingernails that bad.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Like little rings that you wear.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Matt's asking, not because he's expecting me to glue fingernails to my fingers, by the way, which is what to me it sounded like. Probably not, but I had that thought. You're asking because I've always had my nails done for over a decade.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah. I don't feel some kind of wet. It's just like that is a signature thing for you. You've you've had the same nail tech for a decade.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

11 years, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Yeah. You celebrate your anniversary.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

We do.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Which is cute, but also that's 11 years of precedent.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

Every once in a while I'll take them off for a couple weeks or something.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

From what I saw, it's not painful not having nails. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

As long as it doesn't hurt, I'd I'm really not that upset about it. It's not like I'm a hand model.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

That's fair. That'd be devastating.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Like I'm I'm much more worried about feeling bad than I'm am looking bad.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

But I was concerned about having blisters all over my face for this week. This week with uh getting online and filming videos for Lake, and we have a family and friends celebration for the lake launch, and I was gonna be sad.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

I've been trying to tell you that it would be good for engagement.

unknown 24:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

For you to just have like crazy blisters. Which is really funny. That's a funny bit.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Yeah. You haven't been laughing at it, but I understand that. That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

That's because I'm still in it.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

It's too soon.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

But I feel like you've towed the line well of you're not being dismissive, you're just being hoo-hoo ha ha. Yeah, I feel like that's okay hee hee ha ha ha.

Coachella Content Types Explained

SPEAKER_00 25:02

It's owl season. Stupid. Chronically online, Coachella this week.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

Coachella this week.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

I have not been taking in that much Coachella content, but I feel like you have.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

I have. I I love Coachella.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Yeah. You've been sick. You've been able to watch content this week. You've been down bad.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

I have. I've watched, I think it's because I've been sick.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

That's what I was saying. Yeah, you've been down bad.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

I'm not generally a scroller.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

You try not to be.

SPEAKER_03 25:31

It was a really good weekend to be a scroller, though.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

I really enjoy Coachella content. I think it's something that the world needs more of just people having fun and being together and putting together fun outfits. And I think, I think that this Coachella, there has been a really nice line towed by a lot of creators and a lot of videos that have gone viral that poke fun at what it is without punching down. I'd like to go someday.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah. I mean, we could go. I know. I was a music festival kid. You would love to be a 24-year-old.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

We'd have to really plan though.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

That's true. Yeah. I don't really want to take our kids.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

No.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

That would be I feel like they would be a fun hand.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

I don't know that children are allowed at that one. I've never seen a child there.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

In my heyday of going to music festivals, I was not paying attention to whether or not there were kids.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Well, and there are music festivals that there are kids there. Totally. I don't think that's one of them, but maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Yeah, I would want to do it, like really do it. Yeah. So what what is the Coachella content though? Because again, like as someone who attends music festivals, I'd be more interested in the music festival side of it.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

And I feel like Coachella has a whole different So there are a few different like facets when it comes to Coachella content. There are people and creators who live in California who are just attending and don't go with a brand and like document being there with their friends. And they'll stop in some of the different events that brands put on and stuff, but they're just documenting a weekend with their friends. Then the second facet is regular people who do not have audiences are documenting vlogging, sharing. Maybe they're aspiring creators. You're still a creator, I guess, but aspiring influencer, I don't even like that, but you know what I mean. Uh, but they are much more normal, like you're not bought in to the person. Yeah. You're really just enjoying because they're having this really authentic experience and the individual content.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

So there's that facet, which I get really in both of those two categories. I get really, really into. I also get into this third one, but this is where it gets a little dicey. This is where it gets a little chronically online, I think. And that is the brands that rent these mansions, and they fly influencers out to stay at the mansions for like these all expense paid trips. Sure. And they pay for their VIP passes and they do all of this stuff, and they have all this lavish gifting and stuff for the creators that they fly in. I'm sure people love that. And everything's branded. So, like the pool says Lola Blankets, the mirrors say Lola Blankets, the you know, everything. That's that's a big one. We do love them, but that was one of the houses last year. Alex Earl had the Poppy house, or maybe it was two years ago, I have no idea. Like Poppy did a whole house for just her. And so this year, Poppy did one with I think Jake Shane and oh my god. Mick is her name, Mickey. I'm not sure. She's awesome. I follow her. She was able to bring 10 of her friends, not creators. Like Poppy did this is her house, and then she got to bring 10 of her best friends from her life who don't even make content to come with her. And and she deserves every bit of success that she's had. I mean, she is truly so talented and funny, and really, I think, bringing a lot of awareness. Like when I look at that, I feel like it's more of them bringing a spokesperson or somebody that's like on the ground, sponsored by Poppy, to keep people in the in the know of what's going on. Okay. Does that make sense? I mean, there's yeah, it feels a little more that way to me than some of them just feel like we spent a bunch of money. We don't know really know what the strategy is here, but everything says our name and people are gonna talk about it.

Brand Trips Ethics And Backlash

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Yeah. Which is a strategy, I guess. Some yeah, sometimes there is a like all news is good news kind of all pr all press is good press, which is uh that's mixed bag. What are what are what is the reaction though?

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Like, is there a consensus in terms of what what the there's a like Starbucks has a house this year?

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Yeah, they've had some issues.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Yeah, there's been some stuff, and I I don't know. I I struggle. And then some of the creators that went on the Starbucks trip are known for being really transparent and really leaning into ethics and who they choose to work with and who they don't, and then so then people are really upset with that.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Yeah, I mean you can have it one of two ways. Like it's really hard to be all transparency, super ethical, and then also kind of go against your own values. Like that, I know that it would rub me the wrong way. Right. Now, I'm not a person that goes online and is like, I have to tell people that it rubs me the wrong way because I don't think that contributes anything. It's just like, okay, well, I have feelings about it.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

And I think that's kind of why it's hard for me. Uh I I can't tell you how many times I've opened a comment section this week that I'm like, oh, this is so much fun. And then I open it, and people are like, the no, they're like, I can't believe that. And there are like all these thought think pieces in the comment section about I'm like, oh, okay, I thought we were having fun.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

And I like the phrase comment think pieces. Like, that's good. It's like that's what it is. On yeah.

Attention Economy And Capitalism Spiral

SPEAKER_03 31:24

So often that is what it is, though. And I'm like, what are we doing? I wish people understood the attention economy. Yeah. And what an attention economy is. Because it doesn't matter if it's negative attention or positive attention, social media is an attention economy. Uh-huh. There's a lot of things. The reason that people rage bait, and the reason people do these outlandish things is because they know that it will make you angry and that you will engage with it. And if you just scroll past that stuff and if you hold it down and say not interested, eventually you don't have any more of that pop up for you.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

You know?

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Yeah, no, no, you can do that, but it does. It just it uh there the problem is nothing's free in the world. And so while these platforms feel free, what they're selling is you. And so, you know, your time.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yeah, your time and your attention.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

But your time and attention, like content can either be paid for one way or the other. It can be paid through advertising, and advertising requires grabbing eyes and creating emotions, or it can be paid through like quality, but that means you're gonna have to put money into it. And so it's one way or the other. People have a lot of feelings about how brands spend their money and how much money they spend. But you and I are both on the same page in terms of I'd rather that go to people ideally that share our values, but people that are working individually rather than swapping between corporations, like money going to a broadcasting company. There is some argument in terms of well, these ad agencies or whatever employ creatives and those people deserve, but I mean, in today's day and age, also maybe that's not happening as much anymore either.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Well, I feel like everything's getting bought up by private equity or AI. That's a whole different conversation.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Okay, Coachella's really we've This is the danger of capitalism without strong uh regulation, but you know.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

Woohoo! I digress. Coachella content, I'm all for it.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Great, love it.

SPEAKER_03 33:26

I had fun. I think that you should have taken more in. I think you would have had a good time.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Yeah, I again tell me this. Tell me this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

How do you feel about Bieber headlining?

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Bieber headlining. I didn't even know he was headlining, if I'm being honest. Like that's how uncoachella I am.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

You've been taking care of four people with foot marrow.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

I guess it's not been a good week for me to be scrolling a lot, but um how do I feel about him headlining? It's like he is uh he's an interesting guy. He's had some I I really feel for him in terms of like his childhood and development years were rough. Like, even what we do know, who knows, like what we like what we don't know or what's not public. But man, living that life and being in that experience in that time would have sucked. And I know there's some documentary stuff, and I like I've watched some stuff about him, and I'm like, oh, that's sad. Like that sucks, and it would be really hard. And it's so hard for a lot of people to be like, Well, you have this insane lifestyle, you've made all this money and lost a lot of money too. But um I feel bad for him individually, like just that's a a really hard experience, and you're not gonna get a lot of empathy from most people. And you can debate whether or not you should, but if you put 99 people out of a hundred into that situation, they would end up with some pretty bad results.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Even if it seems like everything you could want. Um yeah, he's got he's he's uh I don't know. It's so hard because I'm like, like the music, great move in terms of it's gonna draw headlines, it's gonna draw crowds, it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

No, that's not right.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

Yeah. I don't know. He's lost a lot of money. He could use it. I would say poor guy, but like again, where where do we what standard should we hold people to? It's it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 35:31

Anyway, what's word of the week? Let's get let's get off of Coachella. This is going terribly.

Word Of The Week Withershins

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Justin Bieber, word of the week. We've got a fun one this week. Have you ever heard of There's No Shot? Wittershins. That's the pronunciation.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Wittershins.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

I like that.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Try and spell that. There's no shot.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Okay. Uh W I.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

T.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

W I E?

SPEAKER_00 36:06

D.

SPEAKER_03 36:08

W-I-D-D-E-R.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

C. Ow. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

It looks like Witter shins.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

Like S-H-I-N-S?

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Yeah. Oh. Witter? Witter, which is not a word, but W-R-D-D-E-R. Shins.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Look at him with his Witter shins.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Withershins.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

What does it mean? Left-handed or wrong or counterclockwise.

SPEAKER_03 36:36

I could have been referring to myself as Wittershin this entire time.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Yeah. You could have. Yeah. You definitely could have.

SPEAKER_03 36:43

Wait, that's so applicable.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:45

I've never heard somebody say that.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

No, I've I've rarely seen it. It's a random word I ran into.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

When somebody asks, like, are we are we playing which way? I'm gonna go, Withershins.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

Withershins. And they're gonna go, what? That's what word of the week is good for. Is like you can use a word and people will be like, what the hell are you talking about? And then you have to explain it. And it's just a good way to waste like five minutes of your life. But it's and then come off as like, why did he do that?

Whimsy And Why Time Feels Gone

SPEAKER_03 37:08

Okay, but don't you think that's kind of what we've lost?

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Yeah, yeah. People have been asking us how to add whimsy into your life. Just start using words that are antiquated.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Well, I was talking with somebody this week about how life now doesn't really make sense because we're supposed to have so much more time because everything is so convenient. Yeah, we don't have to grow all our own food. We don't have to wash our clothes by hand. We don't have to, you may have a dishwasher, you know, yeah. All these things. And yet we're acting like we have less time than ever because why?

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Well, because we've made everything so efficient, we can cram it all together.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

I think it's because we're programmed to think we need to be going, going, going, going, going because we've prescribed value to a bunch of stuff that isn't that valuable.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

Who will say I think that's an American uh cultural phenomenon?

SPEAKER_03 38:00

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

I was gonna say that's uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

To be really clear, when when I'm talking about culture in current times, yeah, I am talking about America because I am American and I live in the United States.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Black flag and eagle. But you know what?

SPEAKER_03 38:20

I'm not talking about America. I'm talking about the United States.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

I am American and live in the United States of America.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Correct. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

I can't speak on Italian culture.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

No, that's fine. Yeah, just I mean, we should, you know, just be a you think somebody's listening to this and going, huh?

SPEAKER_03 38:40

I wonder where they're from.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

My culture. Yeah. It's like that. That's great. I'm really happy for you. I don't know. People listen from all over.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

I'm not saying that they don't listen from all over. I'm saying as they're listening, they're not going, huh? I wonder if they know this from living in Italy for so long. Like, you know, no, nobody is doing that.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

You know, I don't know. We're we seem cultured, I think, right? No. No, not really.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

Nothing about me screams cultured. I scream stereotypical American girl.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

Yeah, you're yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Yeah. I'll give it to you.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

That's okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Fair enough. You've got a you've got a good, you've got your finger on the pulse of uh right down the middle.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

I am not ashamed of what I am. Yeah. It just is.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

You're who nine out of ten dentists are referring to, you know?

SPEAKER_03 39:34

I was raised in southwest Missouri.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

I live in Arkansas. Okay. My family is from middle America.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

How was I ever gonna escape it?

SPEAKER_00 39:48

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

I wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Not not how we did it for sure.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

Born and bread.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Born and bread, yeah. Yeah, we um yeah, we do have a culture that ascribes value to work. And working for working's sake, not for it's more like using your productivity to generate profit. Like I think it's more of a capitalist issue.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

Yeah, just have more and more and more.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

We've been talking capitalism a lot.

SPEAKER_03 40:13

Yeah, what's up with that?

SPEAKER_00 40:14

I don't know. It's just a whole thing surround us.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

Why are we so capitalism focused? Why can't we have fun?

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Well, I think people need to think about capitalism, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

I like Sour Patch Kids.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

I like Sour Patch Kids too, actually. Um love Sour Patch Kids. No, I just I don't know. That's been on my mind today. Capitalism. Capitalism is a great vehicle for growth, but capitalism requires strong regulation to protect the individual people.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

I don't know. That's just think about it, people. If we can open eyes to let's go to weekend chat.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Or in a weekend chat. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Hey, it's okay. You're you're falling apart. You're you're barely alive.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

Yeah, guys, just so you know, I do have blisters covering my feet. Let's let's go to emails.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Let's yeah, let's listen to somebody else that's not us.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Because wow, this is getting away from us quickly.

College Culture And Sorority Reality

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Matt's political corner. Hey, Joe and Matt. I've always been so curious about the way that university and college works in the United States. I get every college and university is probably different, but what is college culture like over there? Are sororities actually a big deal at them? Joe, what was your experience in a sorority? Is it similar to the way movies portray legally blonde, pitch perfect? Why Greek names? I'm not from the United States, but I've been curious. Love the pod.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

I think it depends on where you go to college. This is one of those things that it's hard to answer because the United States is so big.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

I think there's a difference in college culture and Greek life culture. Like those are two parallel things. You know?

SPEAKER_03 41:43

Yeah. Yes and no.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Because I feel like there's a more universal, at least portrayed college culture. Like if you look at media in terms of, and then there's sorority-based media and culture.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

Yeah, I hear you.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

I don't know if that meant anything, but I think that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 42:01

Asking the question, you know, are sororities really that big? Well, where are you going to school?

SPEAKER_00 42:06

Yeah. That's true. Cause like even where we grew up two hours north from here, not nearly as big of a deal.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

Not as important. They have them and people do it, and it's good. Yeah. But it's not the core of your experience.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Yeah, it's not a huge piece of your identity in the same way.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

Yeah. My sorority experience really was a tether of my college experience as a whole. And, you know, I had a really good experience. I really liked it. And I also have a lot of thoughts about it.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

What it's like to have organizations that are exclusive in the way that Greek life is.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

Yeah. Yeah, there's some history there for sure.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

Yeah, it it can be a little iffy, but I love I I mean, I had a really positive experience. I found sororities to be very mindful of their students' behavior. There are a lot of expectations. There are a lot of it's very image focused. It's very image focused. And that's the part that I feel a little dicey about.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Totally. Yeah. What do you think college culture, like in terms of I don't feel like it's that different from anywhere else, do you think? Like strictly how the colleges and universities operate. I think you're talking about 18 to 20 year old kids in a learning environment.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Yeah, I think it's I I can't tell you if it's different because I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

From your time overseas in college.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Like I don't know what Yeah. I think like the peer learning experience of it is probably not crazy different. Maybe like how things are done.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah. In terms of how it's I also think it matters like what media are you considering and how old is it? Like I think college now looks very different than college did 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

And in terms of if you're watching it from a movie, like the party aspect of it is one dependent on who you are and where you are and who your groups are.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

I feel like a lot of old movies, my sisters are like, oh yeah, that's exactly what the house parties were like. Oh yeah, that's exactly what college was like. And they went to, you know, all of that in Nebraska. I think stuff's really changed with the rise of the camera phone.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

And the way people can document things. Like everything's just different.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

So you want to do another email?

SPEAKER_00 44:45

Yeah, I guess the answer to that is it depends.

Mom Guilt And A Full Identity

SPEAKER_03 44:49

Doubt that was helpful. No way. Another email.

SPEAKER_00 44:53

All right. Thank you for sharing yourselves on the internet. I love hearing what you both have to say. So many people can relate to the things you talk about. Also, I appreciate the discussion around Joe having a solid balance between being a mom and her own personal life and work. I struggle a lot with feeling guilty for taking any time to myself, whether it's taking time to read, go to the gym, spend time with friends, or go even going to work. Joe, if you have anything to share on what motivates you to make your personal life and work a priority, and having that balance, I'd love to hear.

SPEAKER_03 45:20

I didn't have a mom or people around me that told me I had to make being a mom my entire identity. Like being my mom while my mom's favorite job was never her only job.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Maybe job's not the right word because she was a stay-at-home mom.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

However, it wasn't the only part of her identity. She went to Pilates and she had really good friends that she went and did stuff with. And I saw her continue to be social, and I watched her finish college in her early 30s because she had dropped out. And I watched her learn calligraphy on the side because I don't know, like she was always doing things for herself. And that never made me feel she was well-rounded. Yeah, that never made me feel any kind of way. And my grandmother was the same way. My grandmother was a librarian, she loved to read. And I, you know, that everybody was always encouraged to be multifaceted. I I think that I'm really fortunate, and that's what I was surrounded by. So I've never had that expectation of myself.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

But yeah, I mean, it's cultural for sure. It's the expectation that this is what women are supposed to do and this is what men are supposed to do.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

And I just don't think I grew up in a family like that.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

Yeah. Even even the places your family had traditional gender roles. It was never you didn't have it, I guess, prescribed to you.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

No.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

And it was never not at all. It was never talked about as which I mean my family didn't do that either. They had more traditional gender roles in terms of like my mom cooked and my dad, but my mom also worked. She was also so.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

And I think I also have a front row seat of seeing my mom be cared for and seeing what caregiver burnout looks like. And when you don't prioritize yourself, it makes you a less capable caregiver.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:27

It just does. Like it makes the job a lot harder if you're not taking care of yourself. And not just harder, it can impact your performance as a caregiver. And I think that that has really guided me.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

Yeah. Well, well, that ties. I had one thought when I read this question, and that is what there's a study that talks about the outcomes of children and what's the biggest predictor in terms of uh is it success or their health, whatever it is, like what best predicts uh their outcomes in life, and it's the happiness and wellness of the mom, like of their their primary maternal figure.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

And so I think that's something really good to keep in mind for yourself as not a mom, so I really can't speak firsthand on it, but it's something that I like to be aware of, and I try to really prioritize as like and I I should do it for myself more than I do, but it does not hurt me, and it actually actively helps our family for you to have a full life and for you to have things that fill your cup outside of being a parent.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

As you should as well. Totally.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Like I said, it's something I don't prioritize well for myself.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Because for some reason I've given myself weird backwards gender roles, but um, that's its own.

SPEAKER_03 48:46

I don't think that has to do with gender roles as much as it does with beating yourself up, which I love to do.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Yeah, you're really you're it's like my passion.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

You're really hard on yourself. It's yeah, it's bananas.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

It's true. It's true.

SPEAKER_03 48:58

I'm not hard on myself. That's honestly, that is yeah, the answer to this question, though, is how do I find myself wanting to go do that stuff? I don't think that I'm a bad mom to go read my book while Matt goes and plays chalk with them in the front yard.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

I don't think that makes me a bad mom. I don't think it makes me a bad mom to tell the kids, hey, I'm going to work on this project really quick. I'll sit outside with you guys while you are not in the yard, but I'm gonna be occupied doing this. Let me know if you need anything. Like, I just don't want three on one.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

I'm like, hey, dad's gonna pick up the garage and you guys can play in the driveway and like we'll play together, but I'm gonna do other stuff too.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

I I don't, I've never felt any kind of way about that.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Yeah, I I think one of the better frameworks to think about is you wanna show your kids a realistic reflection of your life and your capacity, and it does not hurt them to see more than like this perfect on-parent thing.

SPEAKER_03 50:01

I'm raising adults, yeah. I am raising adults and I want them to see what an adult life looks like.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Realistic expectations.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

I want them to see an adult that cares for them and take, you know, prioritize them and makes time to make fun for them and magic for them, and an adult that also prioritizes themselves. Totally. Both.

Wrap Up And Social Plug

SPEAKER_00 50:24

So I think we did a better job answering that question than the first one.

SPEAKER_03 50:28

So you know, this week we're kind of all over the place. We're sick.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

Yeah, we are sick, and so we appreciate you guys. Follow us on socials, do all the things. We love you, and we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Bye.